So I finally got my “explanation.” It was a very nonchalant and unsatisfying “I totally forgot. And I didn’t check my phone last nite. My phone was dead all day today and I just got your voice mails right now. Sorry.” (10pm, 24 hours after the flaking was happening.)
“So what’re you gonna do about it? You owe me a big one for this,” I said, rather good-naturedly considering the situation, I felt.
The flaker seemed actually annoyed. “I don’t know what to say right now. What do you want, blood? Obviously my apology isn’t enough.”
I tried to explain the concept of how flaking makes the victim feel unimportant, and how this pitiful apology (I didn’t use an adjective when I said it aloud) isn’t cutting it. The lack of guilt or even any sort of human emotional response I was getting from the other side was so discouraging and annoying that altho I had initially agreed to hangout with these people and let them make me a bloody mary, I backed out of it and said I hadn’t been convinced. “You need convincing? I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, your problem used to be that I didn’t call you enough or whatever, and now I call you the next day and you’re still mad… I really don’t want to get into this right now. You have yourself a good night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I didn’t push the issue since I understand it’s awkward when someone’s trying to get on your case when you’re out in public (grocery store in this case) and you’re with friends. HOWEVER, this totally makes me feel wronged! I mean, WAIT A MINUTE! We had prearranged plans for me to stop by after my cooking class and DELIVER A VARIETY OF FRESH MADE BREAD to your doorstep, and not only do you not call like you said you would, but you don’t pick up your phone when I call, and 24 hours later, you call and tell me you forgot, and then give me attitude because I’m miffed? And you feel I should be GRATEFUL that you BOTHERED to call me the next day after flaking on me?! And for the record, I did not have problems of “Boohoo, you don’t call me enough.” That’s retarded. What I’d said before was that if someone knew I had just had my best friend die on me, or had just found evidence that my house was broken into, or was just crying because my world collapsed around me, you’d think they’d bother to check up on you at least ONCE in the next 2 weeks, and that I took the fact that this was not done to mean not that this friend did anything “wrong” per se, but that I am simply not a priority, I am unimportant, I am not on this person’s mind. I made it very clear when I had this talk that I was not making an accusation or judging anything that was done (or more accurately, not done) as “wrong,” I was simply saying it told me where I stood. I can’t believe it was taken as some stupid whining over not calling me enough.

I don’t understand things like this. If it were me who’d “forgotten,” I’d feel so rotten that I’d be offering to treat dinner, COOK dinner, whatever it took to make it up to the person. I certainly wouldn’t pull a cranky demand for brownie points for simply calling the next day.

I feel so disconnected. I miss having people I feel close to. I miss being able to go grab an impromptu drink with someone at this hour (11:30pm). Why does everyone around here still live w/their parents, and the ones who don’t, move so far away?! I think I just miss college.