Fri 17 Jun 2005
It was some magic we shared. The intensity was unrivaled. Your timing for appearing in my life was impeccable both times. You opened my eyes, and most importantly you taught me that the past is a choice I don’t have to keep making. You showed me that things I find important really do exist in people out there. Integrity. Passion. Tenderness. Loyalty. Fun. Temporary suspension in mid-air. You seemed to exist for one purpose only. Thank you for being my balance. You knew before I did that our time is done. As much as I began this wanting to keep you at arm’s length, I fell into the girl trap of ignoring all the signs otherwise, and convincing myself that we could work. You were clear-headed as you always were and you knew when the magic disappeared. I don’t know why we had a breakdown in communication and started having misunderstandings and oversensitivities. Things weren’t the same anymore, but I chose not to acknowledge that and chose instead to overglorify signs that we are on our way somewhere. I don’t know why you couldn’t hear it when I thanked you for having these talks with me, when I told you how smart you are, how you remain the only person who was ever able to kick my ass in my own analogies and arguments, how I want to help you take your stresses away by volunteering whatever skills or experience I have. Maybe you didn’t hear it because you weren’t supposed to. You sensed that the road stops here, you guided me here, and tonight you left me here. So goodbye, my magical fated friend, goodbye.
i was in such a parallel situation not that long ago – things were going well but he suddenly decided to end things while they are still in their infancy. it was hard to accept but it was also the only dignified thing to do was to accept it. he soon regretted, and until this day refuses to exit gracefully from my world. i have absolutely no hard feelings towards him or the situation- but it is rather amusing from my perspective now.
the comforting fact is – and this is not to sound arrogant, they almost always regret. but we almost never do!
Diana…oh, I remember him. You are much better off. You couldn’t see it at the time, but all your friends are so glad you see it now. He is a joke.
Thank you so much for your support. I knew you were gonna be my sister the first day I met you at UCLA orientation.