I was discussing July 4th weekend plans with a stationary bike buddy at the gym today. He’s considering going to Tijuana with buddies to watch a bullfight (royale!) which takes place on Sunday. I told him I’m flying up north again and described all the activities involved. And then we discussed what I did last July 4th: hung out with a bunch of inebriated people at the usual bar, then branched off with 3 of them (one being the ex) to launch fireworks from a local neighborhood street. That’s the euphemistic version. The reality is that these people continued to suck down beers, and played the following fireworks “games” on the street:
* blowing up beer cans, cardboard boxes, city construction cones
* playing “chicken” with fireworks to see who can hold a lit firework the longest before throwing it into the air
* jumping over lit fireworks on the ground
* squatting over grounded fireworks that spray flames and sparks into the air (to see who can squat the lowest the longest)
* trying to hold lit stick-fireworks between the buttcheeks
All this while laughing hysterically, jumping up and down and clapping, sucking down more beers, calling me “uptight,” saying I “had no childhood” because I don’t see the necessity of burning body parts for no good reason at all. And these people range from ages 35-44. My stationary bike buddy assured me that their behavior isn’t typical and it’s not me because, altho he’d laugh if his drunk buddies engaged in activities like that, there’s no way he wouldn’t discourage it and tell them to stop being stupid, and no way he’d participate in those “games.”

“I remember sitting there last year kinda apart from them and thinking, ‘Oh my God, is this my life from now on?'” I said.
He smiled and said, “Well, now you know the answer. It isn’t.”
I must’ve glowed from smiling so hard as I said brightly, “Nope, it isn’t, and that feels SO GOOD!”