This is very possibly the worst morning I’ve had in a year. It’s not even fking 9am yet.

There’s the computer glitch in the morning at home. That got me off on the way wrong foot. And then I realized I have to return a pair of shorts I bought over the weekend that had the wrong size posted on it, it was about an inch smaller around the cut than the other shorts I got in the same size. Throughout the morning getting ready and showering, the thoughts swirling around my head just made certain things feel worse and worse until I rather felt indignant and violated in general. And then I was late going in to work because of the computer glitch. Then driving in, I realized I’d left my tennis shoes at home so I can’t even work out my steam at lunch. I am PISSED about that, because this is the one day I don’t have my gym trainee so I was planning to hit the gym HARD to make up for my inability to before. I can’t after work because today is the first day of jujitsu this quarter. Driving in, I thought that the only thing to make this day worse is if a certain person (who doesn’t normally work here) were to be here today, but then the chances are slim to none because he’s never here on a Monday and he didn’t come in at all last week and driving thru the parking structure, I didn’t see his vehicle. And then while I was waiting for the elevator, he came up behind me. “Hey, nice boots.” I don’t have anything against this person, I just know I can’t handle it today. So I burst into my courtroom and bitched loudly to my bailiff about the morning so far, and at the point where I was saying, “…and he walked up behind me while I was waiting by the elevator! So I was like [made a gesture of exasperation with my head dropped back and sighing in irritation]”, my bailiff very obviously said, “Shh, there he is behind you, okay hold on,” and I turned around and the very person I’m talking about was already walking into the courtroom. Good fking gawd. My bailiff walked out to avoid the scene.

I just plunked down on my seat with my back to him, couldn’t even make eye contact. He asked me what was going on. I said grouchily I’m having the worst morning ever. He said, “Am I making it worse?” Of course he heard me. How could he not? I said crankily, “Yes. It’s just that I’m in such a foul mood that I would piss off anyone near me in about 10 minutes.” He said, “Should I leave you alone?” I said, “Yes.” He said with a stand-offish tone, “Ookay, see you later,” and left.

Why did I come in to work today? I should’ve called in sick this morning. I’m also upset that I didn’t get to wash my car at my parents’ last nite (their friends paid a surprise visit and parked in the driveway right next to my car so I couldn’t wash it w/o getting their car wet) , and leaving my house this morning, a look around the disheveled rooms unnerved me as I hadn’t been home to clean stuff up.

Add to all that, I’m freaking bloated as hell from all the chocolate I ate last nite before I left my parents’ house; I’d brought over my cooking class end-products to their house to put in their fridge, and my mom misunderstood and thought I was leaving it there for them. I didn’t bother correcting her, but really, why the hell would I do that knowing they don’t like chocolate?! She, btw, also reminded me how they don’t eat chocolate and said she was just gonna give all the stuff away today.

I am going to implode at lunch.