Mr. W’s ex, I found out on Sunday, has been making some negative judgment statements about me and W. She found out about me a couple of weeks ago when some mystery person decided to tell her some made-up story about seeing me and W together. The story was complete crap, it never happened. His ex started asking their mutual friends questions, and then last week became negatively vocal as she heard more rumors (which I don’t even think are founded) from her unnamed source. I don’t know who’s coming up with and telling her all this garbage, but the person’s clearly just trying to create conflict. By the way, this ex isn’t even a recent ex; this is an ex from 5 years ago; he’s had other girlfriends since then, and she’s currently got a boyfriend, so I’m not sure what her problem is with me.

I have a close friend who, since high school, has attracted aggressive male attention wherever she goes. Men just fall all over themselves to talk to her, and I never get as many calls or male visitors in my courtroom as when she just visited for lunch. Grace had said a few years ago (before she met Justin), “I wish I could live her life for just one day, just to see what it’s like to be her and have all these men after me.” I can’t say I haven’t wished for the same thing before, but throughout college and thereafter, I have seen the dark side of the life of this friend. Sure, there are a lot of men after her, but she has always been the victim of ridiculous rumors, everything from “I heard she got really drunk at a frat party and there were men lined up around the bedroom to do her” to a bartender claiming he actually made out with her in his car outside her regular bar. These rumors are untrue, extremely hurtful to her, and insanely widespread. I think the downside to having so many men fawning after you is that there are lots of angry, rejected and jealous men who are petty and vengeful.

I have a coworker who engaged in a rather controversial relationship years after she divorced her husband. She started dating her ex-husband’s relative, and I remember there being some negative judgment about that as well, either from the family or just random people who have no place talking. Probably both. She kept the faith in her relationship, never let the talk bother her, and at their wedding a few years ago, her daughter made a touching speech and toast tearfully thanking her new stepfather for “making my mom so happy.” To this day, this couple is tight, loyal, and yes, happy. They’d sorta been my inspirational model for the perfect relationship in the real world.

Still, I can’t help but think about my youthful relationships when boyfriends had no petty exes, there was no past to overcome or compete with, and no past girlfriends whom boyfriends refuse to let go or who refuse to let go of the ex-boyfriend. Well, people don’t talk, create havoc or even pay much attention unless they’re unhappy, bitter or jealous, right?

I think the bottom line is that I like my life, I have enjoyed the male attention and dealt with the female “haters”, and if rumors go with it because I’m now seeing someone, then so be it, I’m not trading it in for the happiness I have found in my present life.