Yesterday, I went to Petco after work to buy cat litter. While in line, I saw little packages of Greenies for cats. My friend Vicky feeds Greenies to her dogs, which is a long green toothbrush-shaped chew-treat that cleans the dog’s teeth as the dog gnaws on the treat. I’d always said they should make Greenies for cats so I don’t need to keep spending dough getting my cat’s teeth cleaned and scraped by the vet. So when I saw this, I was really excited and forked out the big bucks for a teeny salmon-flavored package. I then went home, vacuumed downstairs, cleaned the cat’s room, replaced the litter.

Turns out Greenies for cats is like a miniature Greenie for dogs, toothbrush-shaped but about the size of a large vitamin. Dodo showed some interest when I first presented the Greenie to him on my fingertip. Then he walked away from it. There was no way I was gonna let this fly, so I brought him back, shoved the Greenie in his face again. He tried to walk around my hand to get behind me to the cat food. I then thought I’d put a few Greenies in his cat bowl so he knows it’s cat food (Dodo won’t touch human food). I thought I heard a crunch, so I was really excited. And then I stopped hearing crunching. I looked in the bowl and the Greenies were gone. Confused, I put a couple of Greenies on the ground. The cat put his head down and opened his mouth and then…I distinctly heard a couple of GULPS. He was just swallowing the suckers whole after he bit into the first one and found out they were hard to chew! Argh. What a waste of money.