This is something I’ve never expressed outside of my head before, which brings to question why I’m expressing it now. Maybe I just need to sniffle to you guys — some friends, some acquaintances, some relatives, some complete strangers — piteously. I know not to what end.

It has been so cold here that I’ve been in a fitted turtleneck every day this week. (A different, clean turtleneck each day, my fashion-conscious friends.) Our jurors probably think I’m hiding a hickey. And yet, day after day, I ignorantly fail to bring a jacket or coat, despite knowing that it’s freezing at work and outside. So anyway, there are few things more uncomfortable to me than having to stand, face a 14-member jury panel plus witness and court staff, raise my right hand, and swear the witness in, while it’s obvious to everyone that I’m cold. =\ I used to be able to hide it with my long hair, which I would simply part and let drape down each shoulder. But I’ve had a haircut recently, and my hair no longer covers the essentials.

I am reminded of a line from “Friends,” in an episode where Chandler had started smoking again and had Ross’s apartment window open so he could blow smoke outside. It was snowing outside, and Joey said something to the effect of, “Will you stop smoking and close the window?! My nipples can cut glass over here!” I love “Friends.” I miss it.