Last week, I bought a bottle of Kendall-Jackson chardonnay as part of my xmas present to my bailiff — it’s his and his girlfriend’s favorite wine — and bought myself a bottle of cheapie booze, a Beringer’s white zinfandel. I admit that I like this particular wine, ordinary as it is, because it’s light and fruity and is great on its own, not having to reach to accompany cheeses, pastas or meats. When Mr. W and I returned to his place, we put the Beringer’s in his freezer, and promptly forgot about it while we drank a bottle of red that he’d purchased.

The next morning, he broke the news to me like this: “I have bad news for you. About something dear and very near to your heart. Guess what I found in the freezer.” I guessed the wine exploded. He said, “The cork is nowhere to be found. It must’ve blown through my freezer into some alternate dimension, and there’s pink wine blood all over the freezer, frozen.” WWAAAAAAHHHH!!!

What a mess. What a waste of wine.

But you guys know me. I drank it anyway.