Sat 14 Jan 2006
Just got back from watching Brokeback Mountain with a bunch of coworkers. Oh! Oh! The discussions one could have about the acting, the realism, the psyches, the social issues, the social issues of the 60s and 70s, the list goes on. It was a beautifully portrayed doomed love story. It makes you want to cry for the inability of love to burgeon outside of a vacuum (even one as beautiful as Brokeback Mountain), the social impossibility of amor vincet omnia. I think Heath Ledger’s Ennis truly was the love of Jack’s life, despite Jack’s other sexual escapades, because of the way Jack’s mother treated Ennis toward the end of the movie. Her clear eyes watched him with love, as if acknowledging that this is the man her son loved, and said against the background of her husband’s gruffness toward Ennis, “You will come back and visit us again?” One of our group felt that Ennis treated his relationship with Jack rather discardedly, but I think they were both the centers of each others’ universe and the other stuff was just to occupy time, and one just dealt with it better than the other.
And then the debate… when do you call a relationship quits? My theory was sorta mocked; I find it easier to put everything into a relationship to try to salvage it, instead of ending it prophylactically. Especially when you have some time invested. My instincts definitely are to run before I get too burned, but what ends up happening is I stay and suffer and toil through it, because I don’t want to get to a point where I doubt my decision to leave by all of the what-ifs. Then I’m vulnerable to being sucked back in. If I stay and don’t leave until I’m sure there is no light at the end of the tunnel, leaving is a last resort and it brings me a sort of peace that I’ve done all I can, and there is no going back. Leaving prematurely makes me susceptible to being sucked back into a limbo thing, where I’m unable to resist midnight booty calls and moments of weakness and the like, and the limbo thing may drag out way longer than actually staying an extra 2 months until you’re sure you must and want to leave. I understand this doesn’t work for everyone. I’ve got 2 friends who draw very hard lines at their decisions — when they decide to leave, they leave, and there is no going back. But I’m more emotional than that, and when my emotions are tugged and confused, I make dumb decisions. Better to let it die a bit first and leave when I’m ready, i.e. when I see that I have no other choice. Why leave when there’s still hope? Just cuz you’re mad? That’s retarded.
P.S. Shout-out: Hi Steve!
This is a moving piece of work, as was the short story by Annie Proulx, to which the film is remarkably true.
There is so much that can be said of this film, according, of course, to one’s point of view.
But of all the things I might say about it, the one thing that it evokes most strongly from me is the importance of simple love in human life, expressed as one can best accomplish its expression. And pure love comes from a sincere, pure heart which acts selflessly, innocently, and with happiness.
Sadly, the love in the film, while not of that sort, is nevertheless very touching—and very well expressed in this film. Short on words, “Brokeback Mountain” is long on power. The silence which reigns throughout the film is a rare commodity.
This is a cinematic story for everyone, though it will reward the serious watcher more thoroughly.
Hi, Russ! I agree about the silence. My friends and I had discussed Heath Ledger’s ability to convey so much with so few words, but I like the spin you have on it. The chatterbox wife/friend of Jack’s wife sets an avid contrast to the gravity of her husband’s silence. Actually, when I think about it, isn’t the conservative 50s-70s all about silence, anyway? We know what’s happening, we just don’t talk about it. Much like how Ennis’ wife cries in silence. I wonder what that says about characters that aren’t silenced and instead, audibilize their pain, i.e. Ennis’ bartender girlfriend after his divorce.
I bet you can put all the characters into a category of outspokenness and silence and see the writer’s symbolism in that.
This is cool. I haven’t had a discussion or a threat of thought like this since the college days.
I FINALLY made it to your world, Sweetness! Thanks for actually saying Hi to ME in your world-wide thinking room. I feel like a celebrity.
Mr. W. (?) called me today about game night; so chop chop, Missy-girl! Note the CORRECT usage of semicolon 8-} I believe you owe me a commission. Ice cream, perhaps? And if you say “vanilla,” ready yourself for a sound thrashing tomorrow morning!
I honestly can’t remember everyone else’s opinion regarding your “how long do I stay in relationship” philosophy, so taken aback was I at hearing those words OUTSIDE my own head for the first time in 45 years. Please know you were NOT derided on all fronts!
Tomorrow Georgie and I meet her oncologist. I’m numbed by a deeply suppressed panic instinct. But tomorrow, the “scheme of things” will be revealed. It’s okay. I know my role. I know how to decide the issues. I just don’t know the havoc it will loose inside me.
So where’s my commission? Don’t think you can wriggle out of this, girly girl!
Thanks for the joy yesterday, today, and to come!
Steve
…and people don’t believe that I hang out with celebrities. Stevie Wonder, no less!
I wonder if you can pull off a coarsely ground vanilla bean and espresso bean ice cream, with a ribbon of Kahlua fudge. Probably too pedestrian for a custom-request ice cream flavor, huh? Well, okay, I’ll take those ingredients in a pound cake. Which I will eat a la mode. Or as a blended alcoholic beverage. Or as a topping on spaghetti.
When’s the appointment tomorrow? Remember, you and Georgie are not alone. (She’s such a sweetie!) So don’t you dare go collapsing inward into a shell. I’ll have to yank you out, and I can’t promise that it won’t hurt, what with all my recent jujitsu and all. Ha.
uhhhmmmmm…uhhhhuhuhuhuh…oops. I suppose this illustrates the RAVAGES of cyber-tardation. Pray, forgive me for having thrashed you about your delinquence in commission. As Sherlock Holmes WOULD have said, “The ice cream is afoot!” Hmm. Bad connotations in there somewhere.
I also apologize for almost disregarding your clear and carful instructions not to collapse. Collapse, no, I’m pleased to report. Just rattled. But even now, I am prepared for the next “low-flier” in our medical firmament.
See you tomorrow, sweetness!
F.T.
[…] In loving memory and commemoration: Post #494 re watching Brokeback Mountain with him, and a dialogue in Comments with him. Post #521 re the ice cream he made at my commission. Post #525 in which he left nice comments. Post #580 in which he left nice comments. Post #583 in which he left nice comments. Post #584 re resolving an issue with Mr. W in which Steve left nice comments. Post #597 in which he loaned me the movie “Iris.” Post #599 in which I reviewed the movie “Iris.” He was disappointed in the way I didn’t enjoy Iris’s character the way he had worshipped her, altho he didn’t comment on this on the post. Post #623 with a brief summary of Georgie’s situation. […]