I just got back from watching King Kong. Here’s an outline:

Hour 1: Why the island movie has to be made; setting: New York and ship.
Hour 2: King Kong vs. Godzilla meets Jurassic Park meets Land of the Lost (sans Sleestaks); setting: Skull Island.
Hour 3: Exploitation of the King by us awful people; setting: New York City.

They could’ve cut the majority of the first hour out. The second hour has amazing effects and gorgeous scenery, but it looked like a more realistic Looney Tunes Merrie Melodies cartoon. It was so goofy. It was cool how Ann, despite being thrown around by King Kong and running around the jungle being chased by dinosaurs (yes.) and huge centipedes, stayed perfectly clean and beautiful, her hair still softly curled, clothing barely falling within the description of “dingy.” Hour 3. Sigh, hour 3. The stuff of love stories. Bittersweet, beautiful, tear-jerking hour 3. I laughed, I cried. And then I cried and cried. People around me cried. Men and women cried. Hour 3 is worth the first 2 hours.

King Kong has such life. His face is amazing. You feel like you know him and know what he’s thinking. His character (they actually gave him a character, not just a rubber body) is like a spoiled guy with some attitude, some boyish charm, and lots of alpha male testosterone and pride. And he’s a noble hero. As the actor character said, “Real heros don’t look like me! They have bad teeth, and bald spots, and beer bellies!” There you have it. King Kong is a hero.