I placed an order for checks thru the mail last month. You guys know what I’m talking about. You get those colorful ads with your coupons and advertisements thru the mail. The order form says that the check order will be mailed to the address on the checks unless I specify otherwise. So I stuck a post-it onto the order form saying please mail my order to my work address, and wrote out the work address. Last week, I got an email (information given on the order form) saying that the checks are on their way to my work address, thanks for the order, and here’s an opportunity to double my order at a discounted price. The email has the wrong name on it, it’s addressed to a Danielle Rudd. I disregard it, but then start wondering if the check people screwed up my order. A couple of days later, I get a letter in the mail from the check company saying “we were unable to process your order for the following reason(s): NO ORDER FORM WAS ENCLOSED WITH YOUR ORDER. PLEASE COMPLETE AND RETURN THE ENCLOSED ORDER FORM.” Huh? Then where’d they get my email address from, the dorks? They also returned my payment check, check reorder form that came with my original checks (for use as their sample) and check deposit form (for use as their sample). I’m annoyed, cuz I’m out of checks, and they HAD my order form, they just screwed up!

And then today, at work, I get a box of checks. It’s the design I ordered and specified on the order form. It begins with the sequence number I specified on the order form. But it’s Danielle Rudd’s personal address and phone number on the corner, and HER bank information and routing number. This instantly brings to mind: Who has mine?! These are legitimate checks! Anyone can forge a signature and get money out of my account!

I called Danielle Rudd and left her a voice mail. She called me back, told me to go ahead and discard the erroneous checks in my possession, and that she’d call the check company. She said she didn’t get any check order returned so she assumes her order is being processed correctly. I think some idiot typed her information into their computer off her order form, then did the other half of the specifications off my order form. It really worries me where my name/address/bank account info got printed up and sent to. I can’t expect good samaritans to call me like I called Danielle (who, by the way, was very appreciative). I’ve called the checks people and got transferred to their department that specially handles checks they printed with mixed-up information. THEY HAVE A DEPARTMENT FOR THIS. How often does this happen?! But the person I spoke to seemed very efficient and concerned and she said she’d mail me an SASE to return the erroneous checks to them so they can destroy them, and then they’d straighten out my order for me. She also said that Danielle had already called them.

And after lunch, I returned from the gym to find a second box of checks, also erroneous in the exact same way, on my chair.

Geesh!