Sun 23 Apr 2006
Yeah, I’m okay, thanks for asking.
Sometimes being writing-oriented means that I notice a particular feeling, psychological process or event, and a mental narration starts reeling. Sometimes I write this narration down in a poem to capture the moment. It’s a snapshot of an extreme time of awareness. Since I started blogging, I write poetry less (it takes longer) and post in prose instead. I’m sure a lot of people have these moments, but most shake it off and let it pass and be forgotten. I surrender to it and let it overtake me. And then I want to describe it and document it.
This time the seed was to describe a moment, presumably the latest of many such moments when one person in a couple is made aware that the honeymoon is over for the other person, for not for the first person. When he doesn’t bother to call or show up on time because he’s hanging out with his friends; when he rolls his eyes at you while you’re in tears; when he yells at you during a discussion even though you’re calm; when you’ve asked him to do something several times to alleviate some discomfort on your part and he doesn’t do it and doesn’t acknowledge your discomfort; when he has gone from not getting enough of you to not caring whether you’re around and making plans that exclude you; when you touch him suggestively and he suddenly remembers he needs to return a phone call and gets up to do it; when he’s given 2 tickets to some event and invites a friend instead of you. Somehow you haven’t moved and yet everything has changed around you.
Nothing has happened, he didn’t turn into an ass, and yet you’re left hurt and bewildered, and other people don’t understand why. You’re not crazy. You’re likely just a romantic who’s with someone who’s, well, not.
Leave a Reply