I find it kind of interesting that my diaries and journals from 2nd grade to 4th grade involve activities (dinners, trips, shopping) with my parents, family friends and relatives; from 5th grade to my sophomore year in college, it involved boys, conversations with boys, progress with boys I have crushes on, the occasional activity with friends, running into cute boys, hanging out with friends’ friends who happen to be cute boys. Those were peppered here and there with school activities such as birthday parties, club events, scholastic milestones, and some complaints about friends. And then junior year of college marks the beginning of the relationships. My first boyfriend. The journal entries from that point until 2005 were sappy gushy my-boyfriend’s-so-sweet sentiments for the first couple month of the relationship, followed by years of mostly gripes about how awful and insensitive and flakey the boyfriend has become until I speculate, churn over, and torture myself with the pros and cons of ending the relationship. And then the pains of a relationship ended. Then more new boys, dating cute boys, boys who talk to me in a bar, boys who are the friends of friends who I heard told our mutual friend that he’s interested. And then came The Blog of 2005.

It did occur to me several times between ages 10 and 19 to wonder why the day seems meaningless and un-journal-worthy if no boys were involved. Was life meaningless without male attention?

From reading other people’s blogs, I’ve come to see what’s important to certain people. The blogs may regularly revert back to hobbies, equipment purchased to feed the hobbies, work issues, food, friend issues, and yes, some boy issues. That made me think about what I’m putting out there from my topics. I guess I may appear a weight-obsessed lazy gym rat who feels guilty for not working out, and an overthinker prone to depression when a boy doesn’t do me right. Oh, and I like to have fun with friends, and I have dreams which I have yet to pursue. And I may bitch about work a lot.

Eh, well, at least it’s a broader field than a few years ago.