Yesterday, I was in Mr. W’s bedroom reading an article in a current celebrity gossip magazine that talked about how Britney Spears is inspired by Mariah Carey’s recent weight loss and is determined to shed her 40 lbs of baby weight now that her 2nd boy is born. It had a photo of Britney’s pre-baby body during a concert, with the caption that this was back in her 500 daily crunches days. That in turn inspired me to go do 5oo crunches, so I set off into the living room, where there’s more room on the floor. 300 crunches in, I started getting sweaty so I came back into the bedroom, shed my t-shirt, chatted with Mr. W a bit while he was on his laptop, then did another 150 crunches. I came in the bedroom again, complained about being sweaty in my bra and shorts, then went back to the living room and finished off the crunches. Then I laid on my stomach and went back into the magazine. A scene flashed in my head about what would happen if Mr. W’s kids came home, but I knew that was unlikely since their mom had already picked them up an hour ago to go back to her place.

So I’m reading the magazine, and I heard the front door open. The front door is located between the living room and the hallway into the bedroom, so there was no way I could get up and run for it without having to pass the front room. I rolled over to my right and looked past the recliner toward the door. It was his teenage son. “Hey,” I said. “Hey,” he said back, without looking too far ahead, as he was taking off his shoes. It’s likely he may not have seen me, at least not enough of me to know I’m in a bra and shorts, so I rolled back on my stomach behind the recliner. I heard the boy go into his dad’s room and ask him some questions. I guess he’d forgotten something. There was nothing I could do but wait it out, hoping he didn’t decide to come into the living room to watch TV or play XBox or something. Then the the front door opened and closed again. I heard his daughter’s voice. That’s okay, she can see me half-naked, we’re both girls, and she’s not shy about body stuff. I can call her and ask her to bring me my shirt. But she walked straight into the bathroom. Son was still talking to Dad, so there was no way I was gonna get up and run past him into Dad’s bedroom. I just hoped Son would go into his bedroom to get whatever it is he left so I can sneak around him and go into Dad’s room. What’s wrong with Dad?! He knows I’m naked, and he’s taking no steps to bring me my shirt! The front door opened and closed again. I heard 10-year-old Half-Brother’s voice. CRAP. NOW this is going to be a problem. Son would be a bit embarrassed to see me in my bra, but he’d play it off. He’s a straight-shooter, isn’t interested in dating yet, so it wouldn’t be anything too gross or traumatic. Half-Brother, however, is already drowning in hormones. Mr. W had caught him on my computer upstairs once, which I didn’t really care about, but then I went thru the internet history and saw that he’d been looking up porn sites. Ew! (Now that computer’s password-protected.) If Half-Brother saw me like that, there’s no way that’d stay quiet. And I wouldn’t blame his mom for being unhappy.

With no signs of the kids leaving, I finally called out his daughter’s name. She answered, “What?” and started walking toward the living room. “Where are you?” she said, then walked up and saw me. “Can you bring me my shirt please? It’s in your dad’s room on the floor.” She said, “Oh, okay,” and walked off, returning a minute later holding up my shirt and said, reading the words in the front, “Crabby?” I said, “Yeah, it’s a Joe’s Crab Shack shirt,” thanked her and put it on. She just went back to doing her own thing like it was totally nothing. I’m sure it wasn’t anything to her.

But I let Mr. W have it when the kids left a few minutes later. His defense was that he didn’t know I was naked. I said, “YOU SAW ME IN JUST MY BRA AND SHORTS! WE HAD TWO CONVERSATIONS WITH ME JUST IN MY BRA AND SHORTS!” This just goes to prove, that when Mr. W is on his computer, I can dance around half naked in just a bra and he wouldn’t notice.