…I’m still alive. I did not accidentally cryogenically freeze into next century, because last nite, I pulled out the big guns. The heavy artillery. Uh-huh. I changed out the sateen sheet set and replaced it with a dense flannel sheet set, I removed the current pretty comforter and put on The Chinese Comforter. I’m talking the thick cotton comforter that is packed solid with enough cotton to scare the Old South, and feels as heavy on you as one of those lead blankets the dentist drapes over you to trap you into his chair when he hides in another room to take x-rays of your teeth. The raw cotton in these blankets are usually sewn into Chinese duvet covers that have one color on the bottom, and a large square of flower print fabric on top. The cotton pad inside is so dense that it can’t be washed in water; they used to be hung outdoors on clotheslines and beaten with a big stick. In fact, this may still be the method today. Despite the fact that the news said last nite was even colder than the night before, I was warm, and slept clear through till morning.

The bad news is, my bed is completely fob-ized now. I have the purple and gray floral bedskirt and sham pillows from the last bed set, but the flannel sheets and regular pillows are a dark hunter green, and the Chinese comforter has a pink base with pink and yellow and green flowers on the top, my hugging pillow is navy blue, and my space-age body-conforming foam pillow is cream. At least I don’t have mismatched floral print face towels covering each pillow.