I was having an email exchange with a friend who was home “sick” from work to work on his masters thesis. When I found out that’s what he was doing, I offered to stop stealing his time so that he could finish up his thesis. He wrote back, “dont worry about distracting me, i can multi-task…. and besides, if it werent you, there would be something else to distract me..” That sounds like ME in college! Here’s me back then when an essay’s due the next day:
1.) Turn on computer.
2.) Lay out assignment materials (book, assignment, syllabus, notes).
3.) Check email.
4.) Type out a diary entry about the latest drama regarding boys.
5.) Check email.
6.) Call friend I haven’t spoken to in awhile. Bitch about all the assignments I have due.
7.) Remember that Victoria’s Secret is having a huge online sale. Check their site.
8.) Ask roommate for her take on a few VS pieces.
9.) Go to kitchen and rummage around for snacks.
10.) Settle down in front of computer with a sandwich.
11.) Unable to work AND eat (not enough hands), so I check email again.
12.) Finish eating, put plate aside, decide to go brush food out of teeth.
13.) Examine face in bathroom mirror.
14.) Lean in real close, see unwanted eyebrow hairs, start plucking.
15.) Brush teeth.
16.) Examine skin in bathroom mirror.
17.) Mess with new hairstyle.
18.) Walk by roommie watching TV. Pause next to her to see what show’s on.
19.) Sit down next to roommie to watch the show. It’s half over already, anyway.
20.) Sit down in front of computer. Re-read essay topic.
21.) Pull out paper to outline essay.
22.) Stand up and go to the bathroom to stare at teeth in mirror.
23.) Sit down in front of computer.
24.) Check email.
25.) Dinnertime!

His response: “Whew…I thought I was the only one.”
I wrote: “No way. The term ‘procrastination’ was invented because of ME.”
He wrote: “The only reason it wasn’t invented because of me first, was because I kept putting it off.”
He won the argument. But that’s why he’s the one who earned the advanced degree.