Mon 6 Aug 2007
Sunday was pretty stinky. It started with my meeting my parents alone (at my mom’s request so she can have some exclusive mother-daughter time with mother-daughter talk, which sounded anxiety-attackishly vomit-inducing to me and turned out my instincts were right) for breakfast out, which opportunity my mom took to tell me, both through anecdotes allegedly from her coworkers and through directly saying it, that I must bear her grandchildren immediately or I will die alone and neglected in my old age. And she was not having it when I gave her my usual answer about how long we expect to be engaged before getting married (9 years), and said that it had better be within 2 years. She claimed she may not be alive in 9 years to attend the wedding, and I said that’s all the more reason for me to put the wedding even farther out, so that she’d HAVE to stay alive and healthy in order to attend it, and that I was now elongating the engagement period to 25 years. After that breakfast, during which my dad stayed mainly silent, the three of us went to my aunt (dad’s 2nd sister)’s house to make the engagement announcement. My dad’s 3rd sister was invited to join us there, but she turned it down claiming she was presently unpresentable and took a rain check. My cousin, the 2nd sister’s daughter, was to meet us there too, but she never showed up. After staying awhile, my parents and I left to my grandma (mom’s mom)’s house to make the same announcement. Grandma asked me how soon we expect to be married, then promptly turned around and got distracted into shuffling through some stuff on her shelf as I answered, “9 years.” She didn’t react, and I turned to my mother and said, “See? She’s all right with that.” And after that visit, my parents and I went back to our respective homes.
Turning right onto my street, I passed by a black SUV that was going the opposite way, toward me. I saw out of the corner of my eye that someone in the back passenger seat had his/her full arm stuck entirely out the window toward my car, and I thought it was a neighbor I didn’t recognize waving at me or something, until I realized he/she had his/her middle finger up flipping me the bird. WTF?! It was definitely not anyone I knew, and what the hell were these people’s problems, they don’t like Lexuses?! I hoped karma would see to it that the person got his/her arm broken off soon as I fantasized about what I would’ve done had I possessed a secret laser-beam shooting space-age weapon. I doubted my ability to take the high road and keep my keys in my purse if I ever I see a black SUV parked on my street with a Raiders football decal on the center top of the rear window.
I eventually made it back to Mr. W’s in the late afternoon and we went to a pizza joint I’d been recommending, and turned out he thought the parking lot design was awful; we were seated in the last available booth which was in the back by the restrooms and patrons constantly went in and out and every time the door opened, we could smell the bathroom air freshener; he didn’t like the glass the chianti was served in (they used a chardonnay glass so he was unable to swirl the red wine without spilling some); he thought the antipasto salad wasn’t very fresh as it wasn’t “crispy”; and he thought the pizza was too soggy in the middle. Sigh.
Sunday evening ended with our attending a funeral at 7pm. The pallbearers brought the coffin into the church followed by a procession of the deceased’s family members, and I saw a teenage boy wipe furiously at his face, trying to hide his sobs, as his sister and mother on either side of him walked with their arms around him protectively and rubbed his back in an ineffective attempt to comfort him. Watching his agony choked my chest and brought tears to my own eyes. Sigh.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I’m glad Sunday is over for you too. The whole restaurant experience would have been enough to set me off. I can just smell the 75 cent RENUZIT aroma now. Ick!
I know you know this but I’m going to say it anyway. Don’t let your family pressure you into ANYTHING, especially marriage & kids!! If they are trying to make you bring a cobbler to a family gathering that can be negotiated, but THIS cannot!! You’re a grown girl and this is YOUR (& Mr. W’s) decision about when the time is right for “yall”.
Oh, is THAT what I was smelling? haha.
I did know that (at one point), but it’d gotten lost. I was at the point where if I could pop out a kid right then and there to pacify my mom, I would’ve.
9 years?!?! That’s like in FOREVER! Why did you too decide on 9 years? Out of curiosity.
Vanessa – so people wouldn’t bug us about a date for 8 years.
People at work (ironically) were asking me today why I didn’t want to get married (been there, done that). Which led to why didn’t I just get an engagement ring (to avoid the when are you getting married questions) which led to DON’T YOU WANT KIDS? UGH!!!!!!!!!
Surprisingly, no one at work or in my social circle had really bugged me about that. Even the older ladies at work who bug other coworkers about “Isn’t it time you proposed?!” had left me alone. Hmm. I guess some people “look” like the marrying type and I just don’t?
But engagement rings don’t avoid the “when are you getting married?” questions, they bring them on!! I’ve never been asked that so much in my life as I have these past couple days!! But yeah, no one has brought up kids with me, either, except the would-be grandma.
I was looking forward to a wedding in the next year.. to year and a half. Nine years though… my calendar doesn’t stretch out that far… besides, if I know you, you’re planning to elope and then you’ll have the “fake” wedding for us
(maybe I don’t know you) haha
I’ve received some emails about this too, so I guess some clarification is in order. Okay everybody, assume that this entry was written tongue-in-cheek. Assume that it’s Cindy being Cindy and not speaking exactly literally. Assume that “9 years” is one of those sardonic canned answers, like “When’re you gonna retire?” “When I win the lottery.” Now does everyone feel better?
Jordan – eloping in secret (like in cheesy Vegas) and then later throwing a “fake ceremony” afterwards to collect presents and be the center of attention is classless, in my opinion. If you’re gonna elope, just elope because you don’t want it to be a widespread affair. Why would you elope and still throw a pretend-party after? Just to waste money? Get post-presents? Have a Look At Me! day? This is my general opinion, of course there are exceptions, such as people having a legal or medical necessity to elope because they’re physically unable to have a big wedding at the time (like husband’s about to be shipped off to war, or some someone thought it’d be romantic to marry someone who’s incarcerated, or in my friend Grace’s situation, she was afraid she’d die with her leukemia and her fiance would be deported back to the UK so they eloped first as she was planning her formal wedding just in case).
that’s funny! i kind of thought that you were just ‘throwin’ out an answer (9 yrs)..but hey, you never know – there are people who have been engaged for 13 yrs, so it could’ve been real? 🙂
K – you read it right. it was a thrown-out answer. Yeah, I don’t want to be one of those women who talks about her “fiance” and shows off her ring and you ask, “So how long have you been engaged?” and she says, “13 years.” Cuz everyone immediately thinks, “Oh, sister, he doesn’t really want to marry you. He apparently just bought you the ring to shut you up and is now dragging his feet, and you’re falling for it.” It may not be true, but it’s what people assume.
as I said in my email, and I guess for the sake of anyone else reading this.. it was in the context of an extremely private ceremony at some extremely exotic location.. and then coming back and doing a regular ceremony (probably shouldn’t have said fake) that everyone could attend..
pms’er :)~
Oh, you mean like a destination wedding and then a delayed general reception afterwards? Hmm. I do like those over-water bungalows in Tahiti. But I wouldn’t do TWO ceremonies. Unless I’m marrying 2 separate people. HMM.
I did that… (not marry two separate people… well, not at once anyway). But sort of destination thing and then did it in a church in front of family…. not sure why we did that, but it worked… well, no, it didn’t work WORK… because we’re divorced now. Ok scratch the whole idea…. just get married, invite me… and then re-new your vows in some exotic place somewhere…. 🙂
HMMM. Can I renew annually? =)