Thu 11 Oct 2007
Maxim, the premiere junk magazine for men, has recently published a Top 5 list of women. But unlike other pop magazine lists, the women who made the top 5 are the current MOST UNSEXY WOMEN, in Maxim’s educated opinion. And the winners are…
5. Britney Spears
(Ouch! Sure she’s nowhere near her previous “Slave 4 U” rocking legs and body half-nekkid onstage dancing pre-babies self, but even in her heavily criticized recent MTV Music Awards bikini, she had an hourglassy figure, her stomach didn’t jiggle when she jumped around, and I didn’t see any stretch marks. Her body still kicks my never-pregnant body’s ass.)
4. Madonna
(She’s a bit manly for me, but I’m not sure what this is about since she’d mainly stayed out of the public eye for awhile — did she lose points for all the baby adoption back-and-forths? If that’s it, then geez, it’s not like she’s angelina freakin-jolie.)
3. Sandra Oh
(I have to agree with this. I get that she’s a great actress and is making her mark for Asian Americans in popular media, but can they find an uglier Asian chick to represent us? For some reason, there are a lot of non-Asian people who think she’s just gorgeous, but every Asian I know, and among people who are familiar with Asians in general, think she’s just awful on the eyes.)
2. Amy Winehouse. Weinhaus? Whinehouse?
(I have never heard of this person, but apparently she’s a talented musician who’s always getting crap for being physically unattractive. I’d look her up if I knew how to spell her last name.)
1. Sarah Jessica Parker
(WHOOP WHOOP! Take THAT, SATC! I hate that show. I consequently and unreasonably hate all people who act on it. I don’t get what all the hype over SJP is about. Okay, she’s skinny [emaciated], she’s got boobs and legs and maybe even an ass, but that wirey big hair and fuschia streak of blush up her cheeks? Ick! They also dress her character horribly on SATC. Adam Carolla [previously of KROQ’s “Lovelines”, TV’s “The Man Show” and current KFI Talk Radio’s “The Adam Carolla Show”] refers to her as “one of those women that YOU women love and want US to love or find attractive, and we just DON’T.” Right there with you, Adam. I don’t, either.)
End catty rant.
hm. i dunno about britney. for whatever reason, she was just really unattractive on that MTV VMA perf. she just seemed…. “thick.” and added to that was the fact that she couldn’t dance; she just sort of stood there and played with her hair. *shrug*
sandra oh. yeah. fugs.
it’s spelled “winehouse.”
ok, i secretly hated the way SJP looked, too! but i just never said it because i was afraid that all the women who loved her on SatC would rain down blows upon my head. she’s got the worst face. but aside from that, i love the show. what’s wrong with it?
Oh, I totally agree that Britney gave a horrible performance that she should be embarrassed about. But I don’t think her body is as bad as everyone seems to think it is. She’s still got a nicer body (albeit “thicker” than she used to be) than most of the women you see on the streets. Including myself.
Thanks for the Winehouse. What do you think of her?
I think SJP’s face looks like a horse. But then I said that about Tori Spelling, too. I think the show’s trash, and the fact that all these people keep raving about it (meritlessly, in my opinion) make me hate it more. I didn’t say it’s a fair assessment, but I have seen a lot of episodes and that’s my opinion. There is not one character on the show I find myself rooting for, feeling sympathetic about, or EVER wanting to remotely be like.
Unfortunately, I think Maxim has finally had an article I agree with. I don’t think Britney’s un-sexiness is from her body per se but from the way she’s been acting. Her antics regarding her children have been pretty pathetic (partying after she lost custody of the kids, etc.). You can be a really beautiful person and do things that turn people off to you.
It’s said, I only know 3 of the 5.. but not a fan of the 3 I know… so way to go MAXIM!
Erin – if it’s based on personality only, I’d think Sandra Oh shouldn’t be on that list. But I agree that Britney’s recent behavior dropped her popularity points by leaps and bounds. (mixed metaphor, I know.)
Vanessa – You know Sandra Oh. http://cindy.ocliw.com/?p=404
amy winehouse is the most revolting female singer i’ve seen in a long, long time. at first i thought her song rehab was catchy, but now i find it just as ugly as amy winehouse is.
Really! Now I HAVE to look her up.