That’s what I call him in my head. He doesn’t know that.

After a few days of phone tag, Dwaine and I finally caught up to each other yesterday evening. Turned out he was “on the field” all day yesterday instead of caged in his office, so after his last client visit (7pm, now that’s a long day!), he came by my house for a visit. Despite his telling me at 4:30 p.m. that he’d “just eaten” so I should have dinner without him as when he arrives after his last client, he’s going to be “really full,” I had 4 pieces of toast and an orange. My psychic and deduction skills told me that at 8pm, he just MAY be hungry again. Sure enough, “I DO want to eat! I’m hungry!” he told me on his drive over.

We went to California Pizza Kitchen in the Brea Mall. I actually can’t remember the last time I saw Dwaine in person, so as is natural for a friend I’ve had since age 12 who is like me in some respects, the food was more in the way of our excited chatter than an activity we wanted to be doing. Why does food have to be going into the same hole in the opposite direction our voice has to come out? What a pain. Good thing Dwaine and I are close enough friends that we can communicate without words sometimes. For example, when we were perusing the menu, I mentioned wanting something with protein as I hadn’t had meat the entire day. Just then, the waitress came and Dwaine asked her, “Is there anything on this menu that’s high on protein?”
She suggested, “Um…the lettuce wraps.”
Dwaine and I exchanged a quick sideglance at each other.
“What about a popular dish that people order a lot, that’s high in protein?” Dwaine tried again.
“Oh okay, um, the Margherita pizza, the Mediterranean salad…” She went on and listed a few more non-protein-heavy entrees.
Good lord. I randomly picked the new mango chicken tandoori pizza. And she left.
“WHAT the heck was she TALKING about, lettuce wraps?” Dwaine said incredulously as I cracked up. Margherita pizzas are tomato and basil, and the salad is “A chilled salad of cucumbers, red onions, fresh tomatoes and Greek olives tossed with crisp Romaine leaves and lemon-herb vinaigrette, served on a bed of hummus. Topped with Feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes and our homemade Tzatziki sauce. Served with pita bread” according to the CPK website.

After dinner, we came back to my house and Dwaine popped open the best pinot noir I’ve ever tasted (and I’m not a red fan) which he’d brought along as a 6-year belated housewarming gift, but really, he just wanted an excuse to try this new wine that was recommended to him. So the rest of the evening was spent catching up (his love life, my health life, old friends), debating traditions (bachelor parties, yes or no?), and bagging on pathetic people on Taxicab Confessions (who raves about themselves being so hot they HAVE to model in one breath, then in the next breath, tell a stranger they just met about their childhood molestation?). As for learning about ourselves, I learned that I cuss a lot, rather uncontrollably, with pinot in the tummy. I learned that Dwaine doesn’t even bat an eye to that, but WILL take offense if I tell him “shut up” or hang up on him, both of which actions effectively terminate our friendship. In the past 19 years, I must have done neither.