Sun 28 Oct 2007
This morning was my friend Edgar’s birthday champagne brunch. I was looking forward to the event, as it would be a reunion of sorts with people I hadn’t seen for years — high school friends, college friends, friends of friends. I was also looking forward to seeing the birthday boy’s cousin, who attended UCLA with me back in the day, and whom I used to hang out with in the group here and there. She was the last to arrive, and got there a good hour late. We were all seated and eating already, when she came in and said hello to people at the long table (twenty guests), and went to give her cousin Edgar a hug hello. I waited for her to look up so I can greet her, but she was busy hopping from person to person and didn’t see me. Finally, after she got to the end of the table to her seat, I did get the opportunity to catch her gaze and I waved. Her eyes opened in surprise, and she smiled in recognition as she said, “Cindy! Hi! I totally didn’t even see you! You’re half your size!”
I responded jokingly, “Hey, that’s offensive. I wasn’t THAT big before!”
She didn’t reel from it at all, or bother to correct it. We exchanged a little small talk across the table; she asked whether I worked in the same place, I said I did. I asked whether’s she’s still with her first law firm. She said she was, going on 8 years, and that she’s up for partner next year. “Congratulations!” I said.
“Well…I’m UP for partner, I didn’t get it yet,” she said.
“You’ll get it. That law firm knew what they were doing when they hired you — they put you in the driver’s seat from day 1. You never did the typical first year stuff, no running around, no paralegal work.”
“No, I didn’t,” she agreed. I thought I was being damn supportive.
Then Edgar asked me about my ring. I told him that I’d been meaning to call him, but yes, Mr. W and I are engaged. There were a few “congratulations” said around the table. The same cousin I was talking to earlier said to another guest near her, “It doesn’t count unless she actually GETS married.” Mr. W was taken aback by her comment and said something discreetly to me about it, but I defended her statement with, “Well, at our age, a lot of people just get engaged in their relationship cuz it’s expected, but when you break up in the natural course, the engagement is called off, too.” But seriously, WTF? Just what is she implying here? She is NOT helping the lawyer cliche reputation. Or maybe it’s a female cattiness thing.
I’m not sure it’s a female thing…. or just that certain *type* of female. No one has anything better than what she has. She can probably perform better than anyone else. Everyone else’s lives are mediocre in comparison to her own. Therefore it shows in verbal whiplash statements and actions.
And saying you’re half your size in front of others across a table, (whether it’s true or not) is completely tactless.
Maybe she WANTS to feel like she’s the queen of the world, and isn’t happy that I lost (some, not HALF of total) weight and that I’m in a happy progressing relationship. But I really didn’t think she was that type of person until now. Maybe something happened to her in the last couple of years since I’d last seen her.
I am surprised. Didn’t think she was like that.
Maybe she has gained a size or two? And not happily engaged?
I don’t recall whether she used to be slim. But 8 yrs at this job will help most people gain weight.
Ok I better run to the gym now.
I know, it surprised me, too. She seemed slender to me. But she may be emotionally discheveled? She arrived at a business-attire champagne brunch wearing a fitted baseball shirt and I think she was in jeans, an hour late, and Mr. W said something about how when she first walked in, she showed people her left hand and announced, “No ring!” *shrug*
yeah, she is just bitter then. 🙂 ignore it.
The world needs haters. They let you know when you’re on the right path. I hate you Cindy. (Translation: Keep it up champ!)
Diana – yeah, that’s pretty much what I did.
Dwaine – Aww, thanks! I hate you, too! =)
i am glad. i think if we can take the highroad, we should. we don’t always want to, but it’s almost always better. (not that i always do it, but if you did, that’s great).