Sun 13 Jan 2008
I can’t sleep. (Duh.) I’m in a pattern of falling asleep in front of the TV, waking up once at around 2am and deliberating whether I ought to go up to bed, and if I’m able to fall asleep again after that, then I wake up a second time at around 4am, perhaps have the same deliberation if I’m still on the couch. It’s hardest to go back to sleep if the remotest bothersome thing crawls into my consciousness. In the fragile silence and unvisibility of the night, troubles dance loudly and vividly, caught in a disturbed repetitive loop in my head.
Tonight, I’m feeling disappointed and kind of miffed. I’m not the type to make anyone do anything for me. I’d like the person to voluntarily, out of personal desire or even a sense of responsibility/obligation, to do “the right thing.” For the sake of friendship or duty, someone close enough to me for me to give her a special label on the most special of days should give me the time of day. Oh sure, I know if I insisted on it, she’d come through — but I shouldn’t have to insist on it. It just kinda sucks. Just because she said “If you really want, I can rearrange some things and go” doesn’t mean it’s not flaking, right? It’s like daring me to pull rank and order her to attend something that’s clearly unimportant and inconvenient to her, but the event had been in place, with her prior agreement, for weeks if not a month; it’s to make decisions for her things, not mine; it’s not going to cost her anything except a little time, and I’m clearly not worth that. I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s choosing to hang out with her boyfriend over me even though she’s with him all the time I haven’t seen her or heard from her in months except a few lines on an email here and there.
I’m just disappointed.
I feel like I missed the back story on this one. Who are you talking about?
I doubt I would know who you are talking about even if you told me. I’m finding the older I get the more disappointing friends are. Not that we don’t need them but the subject came up at work this past week about true friends. I honestly don’t have ONE true girlfriend that knows everything about me, that I could call in the middle of the night, nor would I dare trust with a secret. I’ve got a few flaky friends as the one you described. It’s the age of selfishness and self-importance. Less about keeping her word. Sometimes I struggle with hanging out with a girlfriend vs coming home to be with Mr. Wonderful. I feel obligated to ALWAYS put Mr. Wonderful first.
talk to her and tell her how you feel. i suspect that if you tell them how what they did made you feel, they would realize that their behavior is similar to the exact same kind of behavior that they themselves hate so much when it happens to them.
not that i know who you are talking about, but if my suspicions are true, then i know how you feel and if the situation were reversed, they’d feel the same way.
oh nooooo. now comes the part that i hate about weddings! just remember, a lot of ppl live in their own la-la land, and it’s not personal – but yea, it CAN feel that way sometimes!
hope you’re having a nice sunday – mine has been uneventful.
i believe i know who it is… just tell her! i think she’s just all caught up with the new boy..
Why not uninvite her? Is this a friend worth keeping? As I get older I find that being a jerk sometimes is good for the soul. 🙂 Who cares about pissing off someone who doesn’t really care about you. Even if we weren’t close friends, I make it a point to go to ANY wedding I’m invited to. It’s an honor to think that someone is willing to spend money to invite me to and such an exclusive and rare event.
the more i think about it, the more i hope that i didn’t start the “trend” since i said i wasn’t able to make it on sunday. [but i will make it monday and/or tuesday!]
dwaine can take her spot. 🙂
Dwaine – I filled you in on the phone about this last nite already. 🙂
Flat Coke – I found the opposite; “friends” earlier in life were flaky and selfish, and I just continually did house-cleaning until the people I had left in my circle were whom I considered “true friends.” I didn’t know you felt like you didn’t have a girlfriend you couldn’t even tell a secret to. 🙁 That sucks. But it’s a good thing you’re selective so you don’t trust a bunch of untrustworthy people with secrets that get leaked all over the place.
wilco – I’m probably not going to talk to her about it. Through a series of emails this morning, she’s already offered to go on her own to this place and get caught up, so basically, she made up for it as far as not putting us/me out of our way in having to go back another time for her alone. I don’t know that she’d feel the same way if the situations were reversed; she has been flaky in the past, but she’s not hypocritical about it. Which is why she’s got some flaky friends of her own. Those of us who aren’t flaky tend to not keep flaky people around much.
anny – you’re right, I need to not take it personally. Over the weekend a bunch of times in the past when she’s done something similar came to mind, and I think it’s just a personality flaw with her, it’s not ME.
OMG, as for Sunday, I’m gonna need to blog about that.
Jordan – I don’t plan on calling her out on it since I have a feeling she’d just be shocked that I’m making a big deal out of something she feels is so miniscule, especially since she’s recently taken steps to mend the situation, but I can’t say that something won’t trigger a nerve and I’d suddenly be ranting about this to her in the near future.
Dwaine – I’m not at that drastic point yet. I hope I don’t get there. I really don’t want to be Bridezilla. But I’m happy to know where you stand. Brings a tear to my eye. *sniff*
Diana – you didn’t “start” anything. Each of my bridesmaids are intelligent grown adults fully capable of their own decisions. I’m excited about tonite! =)
Jordan – that would be REALLY interesting to behold. I’d love to see Dwaine fitted for a bridesmaid dress.
I’m with Anny, you can’t take it personal but it’s so hard no too. I have a friend like that and I get butt hurt that she will make plans and if something “better” comes up all of a sudden she cancels and I find myself hurt but not wanting her to do anything out of obligation.
That’s happened to me before…I write people off for things like that.