Remember those funny little anecdotes my judge was leaving for me on my desk? I got more today and these are my top 2 favorites:

#2
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

#1
From Actual Court Records:
Judge: Please begin.
Counsel: Thank you. (to witness) Miss, while you have, if you do have — you still — oh, you don’t.
Judge: That was a great start, Counsel.