My wedding photographer Josh and I are really good friends. We met in jujitsu almost 4 years ago, and have fought each other on the mat, wrestled, seen each other half-naked. He was at my 30th birthday shindig at Disneyland. I’ve been over to his house. Mr. W suggested today that something Josh had said to me was just to be polite, and I told him that Josh has no qualms about being absolutely blunt with me, such as telling me that I’m kinda bitchy that day. “I guess after he’s slammed you so many times on the mat there’s no need for politeness,” Mr. W laughed. There indeed is not. That’s how Josh and I could have the IM conversation we had below, which began innocently with Josh asking me what Mr. W and I were gonna do the next day.
me: there are things we need to do, like take my cat to the vet
get oil changes on both our cars
you know, usual honeymoon stuff.
I also should clean up the post-wedding mess and clean up my bills.
Josh: oh i thought banging the brains out of each other was honeymoon stuff
me: eh, I don’t really care about that anymore.
i’m too old for that teenage stuff anyhow.
Josh: ok
me: i’m gonna go buy a 10-pack of granny underwear tomorrow.
from costco.
no, Ralphs.
Josh: haha
lol
funny
me: and I’m gonna have headaches every night.
Josh: right
thats not cool
me: but it won’t be MY fault, it’ll be caused by the rollers I’ll wear in my hair, after I chop it off to look like a lesbian haircut.
Josh: mmm i don’t think you could do that
me: and then I’ll gain 50 pounds, which will likely be caused by all the baking I’ll do, which baking will cause me to always have a big rolling pin in my hand.
Josh: sure you keep thinking that
me: and since I’ll be spending all my time at home baking and with rollers on my head, I wno’t have time to work so I’ll quit my job and walk around in a bathrobe all day. with curlers in my hair, holding a rolling pin.
Josh: how about a moomoo
me: yeah, a big yellow one.
Josh: haha
me: instead of talking, i’ll yell everything.
just cuz I think it’s important enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.
Josh: you could move into a trailer park as well
me: i guess we’d have to cuz we’d be down to 1 income.
we won’t be able to afford bottled water, so I’ll drink beer all day.
Josh: right
yeah the cheap stuff like coors
me: what about O’Douls?
maybe I can drink Taiwan beer.
Josh: yeah sounds good
we’ll join you next door
us and our 25 kids
i’ll lose a few teeth too
me: sure, they can play with my 25 cats.
Josh: sounds good
[10-minute pause]
me: can I blog this conversation?
Josh: yeah sure
me: yay, thanks!
Josh: 🙂