I’m very excited, for today is D-Day. What’s D stand for? Donnerstag? Yes, it IS in fact Donnerstag (Thursday in German), but more than that, it’s the night when, if you’ve been a very good girl or boy, you get a personal visit at home by Dwaine! It’s kinda funny when we planned this because we both woke up on the same morning thinking that we miss hanging out with each other. So he’s visiting what he calls our “Castle” for the first time. We’re gonna have dinner on the lake!

But as I’m a very nice person, to alleviate everyone else’s jealousy over my D-Day (I STILL have coworkers talking to me about how hot the twins are at our wedding!), here are some funnies to brighten up the rest of your quickly ending week.

Lawyer joke from my judge:
The prominent middle-aged attorney was walking in the woods when he heard a booming voice from above say, “You are going to live to be 100.”
That must be God speaking, the attorney thought. Immediately he began doing good deeds, figuring out that he now had ample time to make amends in order to enter Heaven. But as he left the homeless shelter where he had just volunteered an hour of his services, he was hit by a bus and killed.
Coming face-to-face with God, the attorney protested, “You promised me I was going to live to be 100. Instead, the very first day I did a good deed, I got hit by a bus and here I am. Why?”
“I didn’t recognize you,” replied God.

“Sharing Peanuts” from my coworker:
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of senior citizens down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?’
‘We can’t chew ’em because we have no teeth’, she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then?’
The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.’
**Moral: It pays to be careful around old people**