My dad frequently chats with his Canadian brothers via Skype, and received news about a month ago that my cousin Norman in Canada is engaged and would be married some time next year. This created quite a buzz of excitement among me and my Californian cousins, and we talked casually about a triple-date trip to Canada to attend the wedding. If this wedding occurs late enough in the year, my cousin Jennifer would be a newlywed also, so it’d be me and Mr. W, my newlywed cousin Diana and her husband Doug, and her sister Jennifer and her then-husband Brad. We could make a stopover at a bed-and-breakfast at the Niagara Peninsula, too. The “grownups” (our parental generation) in California are all abuzz with the news, too. My aunt (Diana and Jennifer’s mom) even received some recent photos of my cousin via email and pointed out the girl to us, saying “This is the fiancé!” We talked about how cute she is and what cute babies they’d have.

So last week Mr. W was looking over his department’s vacation schedule and asked when I thought he should take time off for next year. I figured it’s only prudent to check when the Canadian wedding is. So I text messaged my cousin Norman:
hey cuz, did u set a day yet? =)
He texted back: Date for what?
EH? Men! I texted: oh, I heard a rumor in family circles that u popped the question? (if u say “question 4 what?” im never gonna listen 2 the grownups again.)
He texted back: What question?

Now I was thoroughly confused. What’s he doing? Is he being silly? Or is he playing dumb because WE AREN’T INVITED?! I thought about how all our Canadian relatives declined to attend my wedding and didn’t come to my cousin Diana’s wedding this past Saturday. Maybe they figured since they didn’t attend ours, we wouldn’t attend theirs and they’d save money having to accommodate us at their reception. And now that I’ve asked, they didn’t know how to respond so they’re just stalling. I went from confused to miffed. Multiple theories were offered by my friends. Maybe “popped the question” is an American colloquialism and Canadians don’t know what it means. Maybe it was Norman’s dad’s (my uncle’s) wishful thinking that his son was gonna get married. Maybe there was a miscommunication between my dad and his brother when they were talking about all the weddings lately.

So I emailed Norman’s younger brother, my cousin Mark, with whom I have more frequent (altho sporadic) contact. I wrote:
Hey Mark. So I’m, like, confused. I thought my dad talked to your dad and got news that Norman’s now engaged, but I had the following text message exchange with him the other day… [relaying text message conversation]
My cousin Mark wrote back:
Yeah… that’s weird. I don’t think they’re engaged yet… lol. They’ve been dating for a while but as far as I know, no engagement yet. They probably will get married though. That’s so funny… never
listen to the grownups. LOL

Oh.my.gawd.

I called my cousin Jennifer and told her about this. She was aghast about it, too, but got a good laugh. “I gotta call my mom! Cuz she’s been telling everybody!” And we were all speculating about cute BABIES and trying to plan trips to see some nonexistent wedding.

Yesterday I received this text message exchange with my cousin Mark:
Yeah I just asked my parents. They said nope. They laughed at the story. My dad says that he did tell your dad that Norm is getting married some time next year though. Funny.

Geez! Teaches me to listen to parents without consulting my cousins directly first. =P I wonder why my uncle would tell people about some imminent wedding next year before my cousin’s even proposed.