One of my favorite bumper stickers on my Bumper Sticker application is a black square that has this text flashing through it, line after line:

“When I play ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’, I always choose Rock.
Then, when someone claims they’ve beaten me with their Paper
I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say something like…
‘Oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you.’
…
OK, I understand that Scissors can beat Paper
and I get how Rock beats Scissors
but there’s no way that Paper can beat Rock!
Paper is supposed to magically ‘wrap around’ Rock leaving it immobile?
Then, why the hell can’t Paper do this to Scissors?
In fact. Screw Scissors!!
Why can’t Paper do this to people?
Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I’ll tell you why!
It’s because Paper can’t beat anybody!
A rock would tear that shit up in about 2 seconds!”

Ah, logic after mine own heart…