Wed 17 Jun 2009
The last posts were so chock-full of gosh-darn wholesome goodness that I need to post something less wholesome to even things out. How else would this blog represent me?
I JUST had the realization a couple of weeks ago, and confirmed with Dwaine last week, how the male mind works when it sees a female. I’d always kinda thought of it as, guys just admire the appearance of something aesthetically, like “Hey, nice rack.” That’s what we girls do. “She’s got a tiny waist, I’m jealous.” “Nice shirt.” “Cute butt.” But then it occurred to me that maybe guys go beyond just a 2-D perspective of the view, they actually IMAGINE stuff while looking at the subject. So I asked Dwaine about it.
He said that for men, it’s an aesthetic appreciation of what they see WHILST a porno is simultaneously playing in the guy’s head. So it’s more like, “She’s got a tiny waist, I can imagine my hands around it while I’m pounding her from behind.” “Nice rack, bet it’d look better if I went up to her and yanked her shirt buttons open.” It was quite an epiphany! He said that the porno is automatic and even plays when the view ISN’T pleasant, which is why guys cringe and have those awful expressions when they see a giant rolly woman wobble her way around the beach in a bikini.
How did we get on this topic? On the drive back from Yosemite, I received a text from Dwaine that said, “I’m at a bar in Brea and my bartender is REALLY hot. I got her number. ;-)”
So of course I wanted to know where this new bar is. How could there be a new bar open where I frequent that I’m not aware of?
Dwaine: “It’s a new bar called Sky Lounge. Opened 3 weeks ago. It’s my first time here and I really like it. Great location and layout… We should grab a drink here some time, but not while my girl is workin. ;-)”
So I protested. “Hey, I’ve been a good wingwoman in the past!”
Dwaine’s response: “Yeah, but she might see you as competition. You fucked up at got too hot.”
I actually GIGGLED before I realized the back-handed insult.
Me: “How slick is someone who could tell one girl about hitting on another girl, but yet make the first girl feel good about it and herself at the same time? *bowing down*”
Dwaine: “It’s a gift.”
And then somehow the conversation went from that to all the dancing cleavage at the Renaissance Faire, and then much later still about theories re FTFs.
Growing up with my Dad he gave me the low down on guys and not the PG version. He said the minute guys look at you, they undress you with their eyes. What kills be are those guys that have to totally drool and just look you up and down as they rub there bellies. I’m not a meal!!!!!!! Well, not a meal for them… haha!
FTF are hard to have. I think it’s ez for the girl to start falling for the guy but try to play it cool as if they are not.
Some guy actually RUBBED HIS STOMACH while checking you out? Gross! My most recent check-out was last week when I walked from the parking lot to the post office and I saw that a guy walking down the sidewalk was totally turned looking at me. Then at a point he stopped, looked around and walked back where he came. I was confused, until I saw him walk into a store he’d passed. He was so busy not looking where he was going that he passed by where he had to go and had to go back and look all stupid! Anyway, thought that was funny.
Dwaine would agree with you on the FTF females theory.
I agree with busykitty’s theory on the FTF.
Yup I have had guys do it and it’s always the older, HUGE beer belly guy with a hairy happy trail. It’s never the young, 6-pack abs, magazine cut out ones, so I could at least get some enjoyment of it. *sigh* What kills me more is the guys with their significant other right next to them. Men!?!?
That’s funny about the guy who was checking you out. Good thing there wasn’t a pole infront of him or driving.
Dwaine – ya don’t say! haha!
busykitty – re the big belly-rubbing men, that’s just gross! You actually see their happy trails? EWWW! Yeah, I’ve had the significant-other-next-to-them gawk, and at the same time as the incident described above, another guy was walking from the parking lot also, holding his young daughter in his arms. That seems a little wrong to me, too. I don’t think men should be undressing strange women with their eyes while they’re holding their young daughter.
Ya know, I just got back from my dentist and when he said open up I couldn’t help but to think all the stuff he might be thinking.
Cindy – Did you not hear the part when I explained that it’s an involuntary response to visual stimulation (i.e. cleavage, curves…or any “lovely ladies lumps”, as Fergie would put it)?
busykitty – If you only knew. 😉
Dwaine – I did hear you say that. Hence, in the post, I wrote “He said that the porno is automatic…” It’s still gross to have porno playing while holding your toddler girl.
busykitty – I would think dentists are so used to girls opening up that it stops triggering the porno autoplay.
Today the VP’s are serving everyone ice cream. I couldn’t help to about this conversation as one tries to convince me that whip cream goes great with my chocolate and nuts. I passed on it blushing.
Why, busykitty, I do believe you’ve been corrupted.