Tue 18 Oct 2011
3 sessions of birthing classes down, 3 more to go. I thought I’d be totally freaked out and traumatized by the birthing videos, but I wasn’t. Instead, watching that stuff totally inspires me and gives me a sense of empowerment about the imminent labor process. (We’ll see how I react after we see videos on Caesarian births this Friday. ha.) I like having the road map so I know what to expect. Right now, I’m still set on making everything as natural as possible, no drugs or surgery unless absolutely medically necessary. (At my OB appointment yesterday morning, the ultrasound revealed that Allie is already in the head-down position, and it’s unlikely for her to flip over to breach position between now and labor, so that’s a big part of the battle already won. She was laying on her left side, which means she’s facing my right hip. We just need her to make a quarter-turn clockwise between now and whenever she decides to debut in the next 5 or so weeks and we’re golden.) Comforting thoughts:
* this pain is SO temporary compared to the rest of my and Allie’s lifetime, I can suck it up for a day
* my body does everything naturally; there really isn’t anything for me to do except bear the waves of contractions as they come until I can push; the medical team and nature will take care of the rest. This isn’t like an exam I have to study for and perform on.
* there is a finite number of contractions to bear, and a finite number of hours of labor to get through; each contraction/hour brings me closer to finishing and holding Allie (even tho I don’t know what the actual number is, it doesn’t matter)
* I’m expecting the absolute worst mind-boggling pain beyond anything I’d ever imagined; if it’s better than that, great. if it’s exactly that, I’m mentally prepared and ready for it, like training for a race day. One little step ahead of the last, always moving forward, just concentrate on the next step.
* this pain is different from a pain in which you know that something’s wrong (like when you’re injured); this is what the body is designed to do and it will produce all the right hormones to counteract or create what it needs to have this happen, and I’m curious and excited to experience it.
Kaiser recommends that we interview pediatricians in anticipation of picking one after arrival of the baby. It seemed unnecessary to me; I figure these doctors are busy enough seeing patients all day long that they don’t need paranoid parents asking them a bunch of interview questions when they’re doing their jobs like all the other doctors. Besides, if it turns out you don’t like a doctor, you just switch to another one, like with adults, so I don’t know what the big deal is. How different could these doctors be? It’s not like I’m deciding between Western, Eastern, holistic and alternative medicine. Nevertheless, Kaiser specially has half-hour appointments designed for this process of interviewing, so I looked at a list of pediatricians in the two medical offices closest to the house, my intuition locked onto one of them, I read his biography, liked him, he happens to be taking patients right now, and we had our appointment yesterday after work. He was running almost an hour late, so I started getting nervous that he would be in a rush or a crabby mood, having to deal with a stupid parent interview when he should be getting caught up on his patients. Nope! He came in, thanked us for waiting, was as pleasant as can be, open, friendly and jovial. He talked faster than I do! He was also very knowledgable. The first thing he said after the introductions and greetings was that he would never tell an anxious parent that their time is up in an appointment; he always takes the amount of time that the parents require to be comfortable, even if it means staying later in the day before he can go home. After the interview, Mr. W said, “I like him! I’m very comfortable with him.” So am I. We found another benefit to doing the parent interview: dibs on the doctor we want. If he fills up for patient intake between now and Allie’s birth, we’re “in” no matter what because we’d done the interview with him. Also, even if he’s full, he’ll always take siblings of existing patients, he told us. Not saying that Allie is gonna be a big sister anytime, but it’s good to know the options. =P
Mr. W and I spent the weekend testing out and installing the carseats in his car. I turned around yesterday and noticed that he’d kept the base of the infant carseat latched in his car. Michelle and Eddie got us the Britax B-Safe infant carseat, which we like because we also bought the coordinating Britax B-Agile stroller for the complete infant “travel system.” We just lift a latch to remove the cradle of the infant carseat from the base in the car, then click the cradle into the stroller (which, btw, folds up flat with one step to go into the trunk easily), and we’re ready to go without having to move Allie out of one thing and into the other. Cuz I hear people regret waking sleeping babies. =P At my cousin Jennifer and her hubby Brad’s advice (they have a newborn for whom they’d paid a carseat consultant for advice and carseat installation), we bought the next-size-up carseat, the Britax Boulevard, as a secondary carseat. This 2nd carseat can be installed backward-facing (infants) and forward facing (older infants & toddlers), and with a $15 special foam padding, the Boulevard is converted into an infant carseat for smaller babies. Mr. W installed the foam on the inside of the Boulevard this weekend, too, and we practiced installing and using all 3 Britax items. What great products. We’ll probably put the Boulevard in my car or in my parents’ car, depending on who does the 2nd most traveling with Allie.
We’re getting there! No last-minute panic, yet. 🙂
I didn’t take any birthing classes…basically you just show up and do what the doctors tell you to. Not like you are going to start arguing with them because this wasn’t what they told you in class:-)
And I skipped the pediatrician interviews as well…I actually picked their doctor because she had a great name for a pediatrician! I’d have switched if I didn’t like her…
The snap in strollers are really convenient, and they are really light and easy to store…but they are a pain in the ass to push. We used it for a while, until the girls were big enough to sit up on their own and ride facing forward and then we switched them to a more “permanent” stroller. Much heavier and bulkier, but a million times easier to walk with.
You’re right, I wouldn’t argue with labor nurses/drs, but sometimes they don’t tell you what’s going on or what they’re talking about or what to expect. This way I know what all the stuff means and I won’t be as scared, thinking every little nuance means something’s wrong. Plus, class teaches a lot more things than just labor stuff, such as prelabor, recognizing signs of various things, how the hospital admissions/guest policy affects us, etc.
I totally would’ve skipped the pediatrician interview had I not been nervous that we weren’t gonna get the guy we wanted if we weren’t a bit more proactive. I really didn’t have much to ask him, tho. I kinda feel like, who are WE to grill the doctor?
The Britax strollers are amazing. They’re sturdy, easy to handle, and turns and goes with just 1 finger. We tested everything before we bought. And it’s a “permanent” stroller too; once the baby outgrows the carrier, we just don’t snap in the carrier; she would then sit on the built-in seat part of the stroller.
I do recommend birthing classes AND selecting a pediatrician before Allie’s debut…and I’m glad you did both. (high five) I can’t tell you how many parents didn’t and wished they had …plus we wish they had too!! Plus our hospital will NOT discharge the baby without a pediatrician. So guess what new parent? You can go home …baby stays! You had 9 months to do this..all the OBs know policy so they warn the parents and some parents STILL don’t select one. They say “so? We will choose one when we need one” …nice attitude since your baby is supposed to see a pediatrician within 2-5 days of birth. But thankfully most parents are all about getting about finding a pediatrician during their pregnancy. Plus many pediatricians will come to the hospital and do baby’s exam …
As far as birthing classes…I WISH more parents took them. I hear “it’s been 6 hours ..should I feed my baby? Also it pooped a couple hours ago … do I change or do you?” Oh My G… this is after telling them please feed your baby every 2-3 hours (breastfeeding) ..3-4 bottle feeding ..AND it’s written right on their whiteboard in their room. I think they should make these classes mandatory!!!
Oh yeah, the pediatrician said that the hospital will automatically make Allie her 2-day appointment with him, now that we had the parent interview, so we don’t have to hunt around hoping to find a conveniently closeby pediatrician who’s accepting new patients who has an opening 2 days after she’s born.
Of course, right after I wrote to AM that I wouldn’t argue with the labor nurses/drs, the birthing class that evening (class 4 out of 5 in the series) was all about how we don’t have to blindly accept everything the dr/nurses suggest, that we can take control over our own healthcare/labor, save me from unnecessary pain/surgery, and how to tell the difference. I’m glad I’m taking classes. There’s a lot of stuff that’s NOT common sense that I wouldn’t have even known to look up beforehand. Mr. W, despite having raised 2 children to adulthood already, also found the class valuable. He said he wished he knew when his kids were babies all the stuff he’s learning now; it would’ve made their infant years much easier on him.
I actually wish it was mandatory. While you do have a huge amount of say in your care, you don’t have 100% control. We still know more 🙂 I encourage you to tell them your expectations and what you would and wouldn’t like… they’ll do their best to accommodate, but in the end, if it’s something serious, they’ll make the decisions. You can make a ‘birthing plan’ and give it to the nurse in L&D upon admission. A good hospital will try to uphold as many of your wishes as they can. I’ve seen some outrageous birthing plans, so don’t get too crazy 🙂 I think many c.sections are done unecessarily, especially when a late ultrasound shows a large for gestation baby at around 9lbs.. possible shoulder dystocia, etc… they opt for the c.section and deliver a 7lb baby. Ok that wasn’t necessary. But there are times when it IS necessary. I think it’s great to walk in and say “ok.. I know you’re the professionals, but this is my delivery and this is how I would like things to go if at all possible” .. the reaction should be “absolutely! we certainly will do our best! you’ll know every step of the way what’s going on and all the options.. no problem” what you don’t want to hear is “it’s out hospital policy to….” or get eyerolls and sighs. Some people look at their job as “just another baby” when it’s one of the most important, if not THE most important thing you’ll ever do! Certainly the most rewarding..emotional.. eventful. This is a big deal for you. The staff should act as if this it’s a big deal for them as well. (and in all honestly, yes we do see this 30 times a day) at least at my hospital because we deliver so much… but our position should never be to act like it’s ‘just another baby.. *eyeroll*’ …
I’m glad Mr W is as involved as he is… that’s awesome! He was a lot younger with the other two, this is like doing it all over again.. from scratch! As far as the value of these classes, I can’t tell you how many parents have told me how glad they were to have taken the classes. Many are doctors themselves.. actors.. pro sports players… attorneys.. and they all said they much better prepared. Of course we have a few people who say “please.. how hard can this be?” and really don’t seem interested in any education. And then the next day they’re anxious, nervous.. grumpy.. and some finally give in and ask 100 questions. The pro golfer (you know who) was clueless when it came to newborn care.. he really appreciated all the help. He didn’t take classes, but his wife did (thank God)
Oh, I didn’t mean if it were a medical necessity that I’d argue with the dr/nurses. That’s why I wrote “how to tell the difference.” Some practitioners, like you described, kinda get into a routine and would just automatically do an episiotomy, for example, because a straight cut is easier to stitch up than an angular rip. But the epi is automatically a 2nd degree cut since they have to slice thru tissue and muscle fibers, so healing time is way longer, whereas if we opt to say, “No, let’s hold off,” I may just get a little scratch that would heal in a couple of days. The doula/nurse teaching the class also went over your scenario about unnecessary caesarian births (33% is too many!). The class last Friday also went into our birthing plans in length. We got a bunch of invaluable tips about how the hospital and its options work (I’m asking for a squat bar as soon as I get admitted!).
i’m glad you interviewed your ped. i was going to recommend it if you hadn’t already done it. while they all might be medically competent, there’s so much more to being the right ped for you and your baby. sounds like you found one you like. hooray!
re: your 2nd bullet point… you don’t need to study, but training helps. i’ve heard that you should do kegels, but i never did. now, i wish i did =P supposedly, it helps with recovery.
re: your last bullet point… well said. i think THAT puts it all into perspective. that, and the fact that many generations of women populated this planet before the invention of the epidural.
you are all set! can;t wait!
I forgot about the Kegels till you mentioned it. So now I’m doing them at my seat. =P I’m not enjoying them. They better not make me constipated! =/
Yes, I had the same thought: my mom did it and was fine, everyone’s moms went thru it; there are women whom I know aren’t superwomen who went and did it, and women used to just walk out of the field, squat in a corner and do it, then go back to work. So all I need in addition is a squat bar and a birthing ball (which ball I got yesterday) and I’m way ahead of the previous generations!