Fri 10 Feb 2012
I’ve started the nanny search. I initially looked into two full-service nanny agencies each with its own prescreened (allegedly) nannies whom they’ve interviewed, prequalified and meet minimum requirements like passing background checks and being infant CPR-certified. These agencies will match and send nannies that fit my requirements and needs to me for interviews. I pay the agency a referral fee if/when I hire one of their prospects. The problem: the referral fee is approximately 10% of the nanny’s annual salary, due in a lump sum, so we’re looking at $4K-ish paid to an agency to make the introductions.
Because the full-service agencies are so expensive, Mr. W looked into preschools. There are two local Montessories and a local preschool who would take an infant 4 months old, which is how old Allie will be at the time I return to work. However, it breaks my heart that Allie would have to be plucked out of bed at 6am every morning to be sent into a loud roomful of strangers and strange crying babies and toddlers. She won’t get personal attention, they may not have time to soothe her and respect her nap schedule, and she’ll likely get sick — a lot. Given how this cold is already killing me, hearing Allie slosh around in her sinuses and being unable to clear that mucus for her (the nasal aspirator bulb only sucks out what’s in her nostrils), hearing her phlegmy cough interrupt her sleeping, I can’t imagine having her in this condition being a regular thing. She’ll get sick as she goes to kindergarten and elementary school, why put her through this as an infant? Poor thing’s having a hard time napping because she can’t breathe well and can’t use her pacifier if she needs to breathe through her mouth. BTW, I raised her mattress with a pillow on one end, lengthwise, yesterday. We sleep her perpendicularly in her crib, so if she slides down the incline she won’t go more than a couple of inches, if that. And she does slide down until her feet hit the side of the crib. *sigh*
I signed up for a compromise yesterday — an online nanny database site. I’ve seen this site referred to a few times by people reviewing the nanny agencies. Sure, I’ll have to set up, contact, research my own candidates, but it’s $100/month vs. $4000. If I don’t have any luck with the database site, I could always then pay the big bucks for the nanny agencies. I’ve contacted two promising-looking nannies looking for jobs, and two have on their own contacted me through the site. Of the two I’d contacted, one was the reason I joined the site, but she hadn’t checked the email yet. She seems overqualified, but that’s what I want. =P The other is a 31-year-old German lady who did respond with interest and seems very nice. She’s open for an interview. Of the two who contacted me, one seems perfect and also a touch overqualified, but she wants to be a live-in because she’s moving from out-of-state. I wrote back and said that depends on whether we’ll have a bedroom free once Mr. W’s 21 yr old daughter makes up her mind whether she wants to stay or move out. Really, tho, I’m not sure I want a live-in because it does affect my privacy and freedom. Plus, how will I know her lifestyle will be compatible with ours? The stepdaughter came by yesterday to pick up some more things, which she’d apparently given her dad a heads-up about, but didn’t tell him when. The time she chose was 9:45pm, again after she knows the household is usually asleep. I happened to be up searching for nannies online. She said she had “a few things to print” and took out her laptop and started printing. Her dad heard and came downstairs. I immediately switched to the nanny cam to check on the baby, because the printer is noisy and is downstairs in the living room. I bit my tongue, but was very grateful Mr. W said, “You need to come over earlier if you want to print things; you can hear how noisy that is.” She didn’t respond, which tells me she’s biting her tongue and thinking, “Now I can’t even PRINT, either?” I’d already explained to her in our talk that it’s not the activity; it’s the time. Anyway, I just don’t want this type of thing to be an issue with a live-in nanny. It’ll be hard to tell an adult stranger, “You’re being too noisy too late! Go to bed already!”
I guess I’m gonna be passing names through to Rebecca soon…
You know Rebecca will have good insight 🙂
I hope so, I’m counting on it! 🙂
I remember one of my girls having a head cold early on…sounds pretty similar…and we actually let her sleep in her car seat for a couple of nights. That seemed to help: it’s comfortable and keeps her head elevated. But there is nothing that makes you feel more helpless than a sick baby:-(
Early on, we decided on a Nanny for a couple of reasons…not the least of which is that it would have probably been cheaper than two infants in day care. But after thinking about it and soliciting feedback from people, we decided against it.
I heard a million stories about Nanny’s flaking out and either not showing up or taking another job or moving on really short notice, leaving people totally in the lurch. It also leaves you a little bit at the mercy of that person: if they want to go on vacation you have to work it out, if they are sick you have to cover for them last minute.
Day care has been fantastic. The kids get so much more stimulation there, and so much more socialization. I wouldn’t worry about the lack of attention… there are probably 2-3 adults for 6 or 7 babies (in Mass, that is a state mandate, and I would guess that CA has similar rules.) There is also something comforting about not leaving the kids home alone with someone, no matter how much you trust them.
I have heard that kids get sick more, but I don’t know that that is always true…my girls are rarely really sick, and it never seems like the other kids in day care are that sick, either. At least no more than the kids of stay-at-home parents I know.
Same goes for her nap schedule. It will probably take her two days before she is completely on the center’s nap schedule with all of the other kids. Something about day cares…they have magic napping powers. I have trouble getting the two of them down for a nap at home, and they somehow manage to get like all 50 kids in every class room down at the same time every day, just by telling them…
Anyway, this is really long, and I actually have way more thoughts:-) Short version: it sort of depends on the actual person and the actual day care center, but we have been happier with their school than I could have ever imagined.