Thu 1 Mar 2012
So I called Nanny Susanne yesterday and asked if we could meet to talk shop. She wanted to know what was up, so I ended up talking to her over the phone and spitting numbers at her instead of showing her the printed calculations and scenarios I’d prepared. She says she doesn’t need to see the calculations and breakdowns; she trusts what I’m telling her. She asked for the bottom line of what I can pay, and I said that her requested $600/week net comes out to my paying a gross of $763/week, which almost eats up my own salary, and I still have to pay mortgage and insurance and gas, etc. So I offered a compromise of paying her $700/week gross, which means she takes home $555/week net. She said she’d have to check on her expenses and accounting and call me back. I told her that she is our favorite candidate and that I actually feel secure leaving Allie with her; that we’re not saying we’re unwilling to pay or she’s not worth what she’s looking to be paid, it’s that we can’t afford it; that we have an interview with someone else scheduled for tomorrow (today) and that Mr. W said if Susanne accepts our offer, that we’ll cancel the interview immediately. She told me to go ahead and take the interview so I know what’s out there and I can compare, and she’ll get back to me once she does the accounting. I’m not sure that’s a good sign.
After we hung up, I felt like I had inadvertently made myself look like I was begging her to take the job or something, and I resented that. What I don’t want to have happen, is that she takes a lower amount than she wants to and ends up resentful of us, then quits to find something else and leaves us to have to start the nanny hunt all over again. And I also don’t want to feel resentful that we’re paying her more than what I’m able to without draining all my money and savings, too. I was feeling tired of the whole mess.
Nevertheless, because the interview for Thursday (today) with an older nanny was tentative, and because she’d emailed me anyway letting me know that we can schedule the interview for whenever, I asked her if it’s all right if we postpone it because we’re waiting for some numbers to come back. That way, if Susanne says she’s fine with $555/wk, we don’t have to THEN cancel an interview, or go thru with it knowing we’re wasting everyone’s time. But I hope Susanne doesn’t leave us hanging for long.
Meanwhile, thanks to a lead from Flip Flop Girl for an online payroll program costing just $20/month (www.paycycle.com), if Susanne does agree to come on board, we’re actually ready. We just have to enter hours worked and they’ll do the paystub, withholdings and accounting. They also do the quarterly tax vouchers and W-2s and stuff so whatever we need, we just go online and print, then print or write the checks (they also do free direct deposit for our employee) and mail to the government or hand to our nanny. So that’s one big thing off our potential plate.
For an Allie update:
She had her 4th consecutive night of sleeping straight through with no middle-of-the-night feedings. Since she dropped a feeding and is now down to 5 a day, I think that’s why she hasn’t pooped in 6 days now. Her body’s not producing poop cuz she’s using all the calories. She’s not in discomfort, her stomach isn’t distended or hard, and she’s tooting, so there’s no blockage. She’s just using all the nutrients (from what I read and from what pediatricians and nurses have told me in the past during her growth spurts).
After fighting the bottle last Friday and Saturday, she’s taken a bottle a day without protest from Mr. W, stepdaughter, and yesterday, my parents. Today, I was on my own during all her potential bottlefeeding periods, so I was nervous. I turned her facing out, gave her 3 ounces, and she took that from ME without protest, too. Whew! I think I need to give her more since she seemed hungry afterwards still. I gave her the next feeding an hour early because of that.
Nannies are notoriously flaky, so you are probably right to worry about how the relationship starts.
Good news on Allie being fed by others! It is incredibly liberating to know that you can be away from her for a feeding…it may not seem like much to the un-initiated, but the feeling of being absolutely tethered can be pretty overwhelming.
I hope finding the right nanny would cut down, if not eliminate, the flaking.
I’d never thought of breastfeeding her as being absolutely tethered, but you’re right! I’ve been tethered to her anyway, and if I had an appointment or the couple of times we left Allie to my parents for a quick dinner, I’d feed her first and then hurry off, hurry thru dinner, and hurry back. It was just the way it was. Maybe breastfeeding was my excuse to do all the hurrying so I didn’t have to be away from her long. Hmm.