Now that my little girl is almost 15 weeks old, I realize there are some things I wish I knew before Allie came out into the world, such as:
* what growth spurts do to their eating;
* that it’s not only okay, but totally common, to supplement nursing with some formula while waiting for milk to come in the first couple of weeks, and it doesn’t mean your body isn’t or won’t produce milk;
* exclusively breastfed babies can go days, sometimes a week or more, without pooping once their digestive systems mature a little or when they’re going thru a growth spurt, cuz they use up all the stuff in the milk and don’t have any excess to make into poopies;
* babies need a LOT of sleep (like after every 1-2 hours of awake time), even when they’re not sleeping or napping on their own and need a little assistance;
* fussiness at night in a 6+ week-old could actually be a sign that an earlier bedtime is needed, and not just that the baby has colic or is generally crabby.

There have been things that have surprised me, too, such as:
* how much I resent anything that interferes with my baby’s sleep…loud gardeners (does that leaf blower need to be on when they’re just walking around the driveway?!), ambulance sirens (those drivers should find a different route!), screaming kids outside (it’s a SOCCER BALL, not a zombie chasing you for your brain!), careless door-slamming (you have fingers, use them to hold the knob and close the door instead of letting it slam!), the cat when he’s yowling all over the house (he KNOWS there’s a baby sleeping, he could smell it, he’s a cat!). That last one was a surprise; I thought NOTHING would come between me and my Dodo boy;
* the things I get ecstatic about when they come out of my baby…”Is that a toot? That’s a TOOT!” “*gasp* YAAAY, you POOPIED!” “GREAT burp, baby! GOOD JOB!” cuz any of these things trapped in her makes her uncomfortable, so we want them OUT, no matter how socially unacceptable it is for adults to do the same.

It’s been said many times that babies don’t come with instruction manuals. My therapist points out that all new parents at some point or another have felt bewildered, lost, scared, paranoid, and it’s not just me, because look at all the self-help baby books out there! There wouldn’t be such a market if I’m the only one who feels this way. So although the labor team that delivered Allie claims they didn’t leave her manual in there when they took her out, there ARE manuals out there available in a salad bar fashion. You pick the item(s) that work for you, and it could be a unique blend of techniques, tips, and education for each unique parent dealing with a unique baby. For me, after “Babywise,” “The No-Cry Solution,” “What to Expect in the First Year,” countless internet searches, countless texts to helpful friends, this is what I found worked for me:
“Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” – Dr. Marc Weissbluth
“The Wonder Weeks” – Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij
These two go well together for me because they answer my most burning questions, which are: (Stage direction: picture me dropping to my knees with an open-mouthed anguished expression, fists in the air, and dramatically screaming the following)
* WHAT is HAPPENING to my baby?! and
* HOW do I FIX MY BABY?!
The sleep book, as I have come to dub it, tells me what is going on developmentally in Allie’s little brain through her early growth in life, and how giving her the opportunity to be fully rested in spite of her growing restlessness helps her mood, her ability to absorb learning, increases her ability to adapt and thereby sets her up for successful future learning and adaptability. Plus, it helps me sleep through the night since she’s been sleeping through the night. Good nappers make good night-sleepers! This book teaches you how to help your baby become a good napper and good sleeper.
Wonder Weeks explains what developmental “leaps” the baby goes through at what point in his/her life, and helps you anticipate the signs that show that your baby is now at week x, which means she’s hitting a fussy period due to her current ability to sense y and z, and she’ll be trying this and that and you can help her learn these skills by playing this game or doing that activity. Apparently a baby’s development isn’t a seamless progression, it goes in leaps and bounds (and not in the figurative sense), so the baby goes through phases of behavioral changes which SEEM like a regression into cranky infancy. These regression periods were distressing to me until I learned this behavior is normal, and the clinginess/crankiness/crying are just passing phases as the baby tries to acclimate to the new perceptions her brain suddenly learns to picks up. (I used to think “OMG, this is the way it’s gonna be from now on, forever! It’s horrible and I can’t do it!” and my therapist said that’s the postpartum depression talking, the inability to see beyond the misery of the moment.) I am seeing Allie’s developments hit right at the points the book says they would. Like now, she’s entering a fussy period because she’s seeing faces and recognizing people, and would cry suddenly for no reason, sleep less well, but in improvements, she prefers to stand up and walk, roll to her side, and work on skills like that, so she finds the awake time more interesting.

Okay, and now she’s woken up super-early, crying from her morning nap, so I’ll have to end my blog posts for the same reason I’ve been ending most of my blog posts since her birth. Another sign that Wonder Weeks was right about her current fussy stage.