The kid bit me for the first time this morning during nursing. She acted like she was done, turning away, but I thought she was just distracted because she was on that side half the time she normally is, so I put her back on. A few seconds later, a sharp pain. I tried not to say “ouch” but it was too late because she caught me by surprise. I was also surprised she didn’t just bite and let go; she kept the pressure on for a few seconds. I tried to press her face into my skin to get her to let go but she was in an awkward position where it really didn’t do anything, but she let go on her own anyway and acted like nothing unusual had happened.

She may have been getting me back for putting her on when she was done eating. Or it may have been for letting her sit up by herself unsupported, which she’s able to do until she reaches to her left or right for something (and she’s ALWAYS reaching for something these days, even if it’s just the blanket she’s sitting on) and then falls over on her face in that direction. I laugh when she does that because it’s funny and she’s clearly unhurt. Maybe her little budding ego is hurt when she’s laughed at now, who knows.

Looking back, it’s interesting how insecure and incompetent I felt with the baby stuff from Allie’s birth until…last weekend. I was completely overwhelmed and feeling underprepared, and was constantly playing a game of catch-up, researching and reading everything I could, trying to be a more effective parent by trying to anticipate her growth and symptoms and how to best address potential upcoming issues. I’m finally at the point, thanks to the very successful naptraining over the weekend, of feeling like, “Hey, I’m not a totally sucky mother, after all.” It could be because I was SO freaked out at how crazy everything was going at home the first week Jayne was with Allie (I cried in the bathroom at work last Wednesday), by comparison, the weekend felt totally do-able. And also, because this week is going well and Jayne is “getting it” with Allie’s routines and stuff now, I’m feeling much more comfortable. The constant nagging nausea and anxiety hanging over me actually dissipates here and there. People at work with young grandchildren and helpless-feeling new-mom-children are coming to me, asking advice, and my advice is actually WORKING for them (especially in the areas of sleep training). There are more learning curves coming up immediately ahead such as when we have her try solids for the first time this weekend, but hopefully nothing that kicks my emotional butt like the first 4.5 months of Allie’s life. At least, until teenagerhood sets in. Ugh.