I was reading Wilco and fiance Christi’s wedding blog in which they talk about their last marriage prep session as required by the Catholic church. One of the questions asked the couples present was how much money they expect to spend on clothing/wardrobe a year. Christi’s account was that the men and women differ quite dramatically in their answers, with the women in the higher numbers ($2500) and men in the lower ($500). Before I read Wilco and Christi’s reponse to the question, I thought about how I would answer it. I figure I spend about $200 a year. I add to my wardrobe slowly, I don’t do closet overhauls with the fleetings of fashion, I don’t do designer bags or shoes. Pretty much the only time I buy something or even go clothes or shoe shopping is if something I own broke and I NEED it replaced, like a pair of brown closed-toed high heel shoes, which I still haven’t been able to find. I don’t shop for the sheer joy of shopping. I hate shopping.

That reminds me, last week I walked toward the entrance of the courthouse on my way to work, behind a woman wearing tight 7ForAllMankind jeans. My first thought was, “She’s probably on her way in for a fee waiver.” That’s how jaded I am. But given the demographic area this courthouse serves, given the sheer quantity of people who request and are granted fee waivers, given how I know women to be, I’d say I predicted her purpose in the Courts with 85% accuracy. Because if she were an attorney, she wouldn’t be in jeans. If she were here as moral support to a family member on trial, she wouldn’t be alone. If she were a attorney messenger service runner, she would be carrying more papers. If she were here to file a divorce or harrassment case, well, then she’d be requesting a fee waiver so she could get those things for free. Claiming that she doesn’t have the financial means to pay the filing fees, because she’d spent $200 on wrapping her ass in denim.

So anyway, Wilco’s estimate was more than 12 times my estimate, and more than double his fiance Christi’s estimate (altho to be fair, I believe they were estimating their expected expenditure on wardrobe as a couple, and I was just thinking of myself). That made me really examine my attire priorities. Maybe I need a pair of fresh eyes to help me throw out my clothes. My old rule of thumb was:
KEEPERS – if it fits, and if it’s not too badly damaged; sometimes if it fits BUT it’s damaged, I keep it for “possible beach wear” or “possible painting wear”
DONATE – if it’s too small, tight AND I don’t expect to lose enough weight to get back into it someday, or if it’s ripped beyond repair

Go ahead and laugh. I know these guidelines don’t take into consideration things like whether something’s still in style, whether something is ever worn, whether I can truly see myself wearing the item again. That’s why I have oversized fuschia sweaters from the 80s, a Debbie Gibson concert T-shirt, holey tops that I have to wear a tanktop under, embroidered rhinestone-embedded denim shirts, jeans with house paint splattered over the front, granny underwear, navy with pink pin-striped baggy trousers with suspenders, multi-colored slouch socks, my junior high Physical Education (PE) sweatshirt and shorts. Damn it that I grew up in the 80s, and everything then was oversized. Everything still fits! I’ve had things so long that fashion has come full circle and my clothes are actually back in style. 😛

I need help.