My staff and I had a conversation today about how “living” is not to spend countless hours every night at a bar, stationary except for the constant arm movement lifting alcohol to mouth, forking over hard-earned money in exchange for useless calories and inebriation. Living is visiting important friends and meeting his/her friends, and doing things like bike rides in beautiful wine country, creating friendships, new perspectives, and memories. When I look back over the last couple of years, it looks like a life in shadow. Blurry, cold, frustrating, drudging. Trying not to get dragged down into the sludgy viscosity, trying to watch deluded drunk men’s backs as the only sober person, while trying to watch my own back to keep from being dragged into barfights or destruction of others’ personal property. In wonderous contrast, where I have been the last few weeks is sunny, colorful, vibrant. This is living! This is learning, experiencing, growing. I hope I never again become stagnant like I had been.

I’m having trouble registering for my Kenpo Karate class online, so I guess I’ll do it in person later on in the week. It won’t be tomorrow, tho, since I will be attending a specialized bread-making class after work. 🙂 This is living!