Both my wrists are tweaked and the right side of my lower back, an injury I’ve had for weeks, is now aggravated. Now add to the casualty list my left shoulder. I know what’s better for me is to skip jujitsu today and maybe even tomorrow, and just do cardio at the gym at lunch. I thought about doing this, and then I imagined not having anything on my plate in the evenings for the next 2 days if I skip jujitsu. The extra free time scares me. I had gotten to a point where I viewed my few hours of free time not as emptiness, but welcomed relaxation and opportunity to catch up on chores. I’m not sure whether it’s that my state of mind is not there anymore and has regressed, or that I can only deal with so much free time before I feel lost, lonely and scared in the vacuum of emptiness.