Mon 15 Aug 2005
Jimmy asked me tonite, “What do you think are the keys to being a good couple?”
I thought a bit and responded, “I think keys are similar ethics, mutual respect, mutual dedication to address and resolve arising problems, integrity.”
It’s one of those things I don’t really think about until I’m challenged to analyze my perspective. These days I don’t think much about relationships at all in relation to myself. It makes me feel tired, and if I’m forced to delve deeper into a topic about my relationships or thoughts thereon, I become agitated and angry as I touch old wounds. But now that I have created a list, I thought I’d document it to compare it to a list I may have in the future.
Another list w/my current state of mind: No-Exception Dealbreakers
1.) cigarette smoking
2.) substance abuse (including excessive alcohol)
3.) compulsive lying
4.) cheating
5.) frequent/regular contact with exes
6.) someone who never wants to get married
7.) someone who never wants kids
8.) someone who currently has kids
9.) no integrity
10.) moral turpitude issues
moral turpitude? who actually says that? haha…just another example that you don’t really speak the language of the more common people. =)
it’s not a bad thing- i use that phrase, too.
I can’t think of another way to phrase it that concisely. 🙁
You may end up having to let the one who has kids slide at some point. It’s hard to find men who don’t have kids the older the man is. I agree with the other stuff though. Why waste your time with someone who doesn’t want kids or doesn’t want to get married?
The only other thing though is you have to look out for men that want to get married too soon. I know someone having that problem right now. They’ve been together 2 months and he already wants to get married and home school their potential kids. I don’t think it’s going to work though because he’s always trying to tell her what to do like she’s 5 years old.
I don’t feel I have to settle just yet, tho.