I went out with some coworkers for lunch, and after topics dealing with personal drama, retirement, social activities, children and pets, complaints about work, speculation about coworkers — the usual stuff — somehow we hit on hypothyroidism. So I think I have it. I’d been tested before as having borderline hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid), but the doctor didn’t want to put me on medication in case it swings back into normal, cuz then I’d get really sick on the meds. Now that I’ve done some research on WebMD, I’m convinced my thyroid has swung into sleep mode again.

Hypothyroidism Symptoms
Symptoms of hypothyroidism usually develop slowly over months or years. Symptoms and signs may include:

Coarse and thinning hair. (I have a lot less hair now than I used to.)
Dry skin. (So dry it itches when my skin’s stretched out!)
Brittle nails. (They are chipping more easily these days, especially by my razor.)
A yellowish tint to the skin. (…and I thought I was just Asian.)
Slow body movements. (Totally. I ooze place-to-place now.)
Cold skin. (I’m always cold now.)
Inability to tolerate cold. (See above.)
Feeling tired, sluggish, or weak. (Check, check, and check. Sluggish. Oozing.)
Memory problems, depression, or difficulty concentrating. (I don’t retain info like I used to, which makes me sad, and the sadness detracts from my ability to concentrate on my work. That and boredom. Which makes me sad, too.)
Constipation. (I read in several places that unless you’re pooping 2-3 times a day, you’re constipated. So I’d poop halfway, cut it off, suck the rest back up to save for later so that I’d poop more often in a day. I’m SO just kidding! Don’t take me seriously! 98% of all constipated people are full of shit, anyway.)
Heavy or irregular menstrual periods that may last longer than 5 to 7 days. (I bleed like an amputee when I’m off the pill.)

Other, less common symptoms may include:

An enlarged thyroid gland (goiter).
Modest weight gain, often 10 lb(4.5 kg) or less.
Swelling of the arms, hands, legs, and feet, and facial puffiness, particularly around the eyes.
Hoarseness.
Muscle aches and cramps.

So now we have a cause for my sluggishness, dry skin, weight gain, hair loss, etc etc. =P This is why I can never be a med student (next to “queasy around blood,” and “needs a functional brain”).