This morning, I had a conversation that reminded me of another conversation. Some time ago, I was dating a guy for a few months when it became apparent that this was not headed toward a relationship, this was stuck as a fling. I didn’t feel at that time in my life that I wanted a frivolous fling, especially not with him. I could see the potential for my really falling for him, so I talked to him about it. I told him that I can see where he is, and that’s fine because of his past experiences and his future plans, he has every reason to be where he is right now… except that where he is right now is not where I am, and since I don’t want to continue further only to get hurt, we should stop seeing each other. I tried to make it clear that I’m not asking him to change or to commit to me, it’s simply an acknowledgment of the chasm between where we are relationship-wise and where we want to be, and I was going to move on without him. He reiterated to me all the reasons why he believed he will never get married, how messed up the women are out there at least in this country, and he said, “It’s just that it’s so hard to find a woman these days who has more to bring to the table than her own bills.” The effect that statement had on me was solid confirmation that it has to be over because he did not see me. If he did, he would see that I am not out to trap a man, contribute nothing and expect to be taken care of. He would see that I have no revolving payments, not even car payments, except for mortgage because I don’t expect a man to support me the rest of my life. He would see that I have property, investments, retirement plans, and savings because I place my priorities on planning for the future, not on shoes, clothes and jewelry while waiting for some sucker to come along and wipe my ass with his dollar bill. To get hitched is easy; to be a good partner takes thought, consideration, work, mental and physical preparation. I’ve always thought that the worse the general female populace is with their gold-digging selfish taking-advantage ways, the better it is for me because men of good character will see the difference. They will. Won’t they?

If I’m projecting fling vibes without knowing it, I guess I just screwed myself. But I believe that a man, the right man, will see me for who I am, and even if he thinks the institution of marriage in this country is crap, he will know I am not one of these women who continue to give marriage and divorce a bad name, and he will be with me because I’m me; he won’t not be with me because of other women’s characters.