I’m having an online conversation with someone about “makeup sex” and its definition. He says that “make up sex is hot rough or very slow passionate sex to make the other person either get their anger out or mellow them out.” I didn’t think of makeup sex like that. I’d always thought of it as sex you have after you make up, not sex to get someone to make up with you. I don’t think I could have sex in the middle of a fight; I’d be focused on other stuff. But after a fight I’m feeling a bit sad and lost, and I need him to show me it’s gonna be okay. I need to reconnect with him. When that person doesn’t want to reconnect with me, it makes me suddenly insecure and more lost and now I’m really, really sad.

I think I just figured out a large chunk of myself. It’s like I need closure to a fight to make sure the ugly stuff’s really gone.