I’ve been pulled out of my courtroom to handle a specialized courtroom down the hall that the floater clerks either can’t or aren’t willing to do. So they’ve put a very qualified criminal clerk in my courtroom to handle the child molestation/rape trial that started yesterday. I’ve been haywire for a couple of days now, and all I can do to try to pull myself out is constantly talking myself out of feeling bad. ‘My life is fine, it’s only one aspect that’s uncomfortable, the negative drama stuff is out of my control and not about me, and I can always take some drastic measures if I see the need, everything else is fine,’ etc. Logic has not been dictating my emotions. I’m miserable. I’m lost. I’m scared. I’m nauseated and exhausted.

And then earlier, a law clerk in this department brought her two new calico kittens to visit us. She’d gone home early to pick them up from the groomer’s who was getting the kitties ready for their adoption today, and their new mommy decided to swing back and introduce “Scout” and “Gabby” to us first. They are the cutest tiny things! Scout seems to be a runt, and I picked her up and held her. She purred immediately and curled into my arm, against my body. As she got braver, she put two tiny pink-padded paws on my chest and pushed herself up from my forearm and as I delighted in her curiosity, she touched the tip of her small pink and brown nose to mine in a little kitty kiss. Everyone started cooing and awwwing. “She really likes you!” the court reporter said, as she held the slightly older and furrier Gabby. Gabby was clearly favored as she was prettier, and Scout’s aquamarine eyes seem to protrude a little from her small triangular face. I think she’s just young and still has a bit of the less-attractive infant cat alien look.

For a few minutes there, as I was cuddling the warm furry kitty who was poking her little head around and purring in my arms, my mind was off of my emotional issues and I was happily charmed. I’d hug Dodo like that, but he doesn’t like to be picked up and he won’t stay still when you’re petting him. I’ll give it another try later when I get home. Haha, Scout’s only the size of Dodo’s head.