My mom wrote me an email at 9am this morning, saying that at that time 30 years ago, I was 15 hours old.

I must’ve been ugly. But I bet I had 10 fingers and 10 toes! And I bet they counted them!

Did you guys ever count your own toes, after realizing that you’ve never actually counted them before so maybe you’ve been an eleven-toed freak all along but you never realized it? I did, when I was 10, and I’m glad to report, I have 10 li’l piggies.

When my childhood friend Sandy was turning 30 last month, I called her to wish her a happy birthday. In the conversation, I asked what time she was born, and then noted that she wasn’t actually 30 yet, she technically had a few more hours. She said, “But I was born in Taiwan so technically, I turned 30 yesterday.” “Oh yeah!” I said and laughed at her for being old already. And then it hit me. I was born in Taiwan, too! Damn it, I’ve been 30 for 3 days already, then.