To end a sort of a crappy weekend, I had a crappy night’s sleep last night. I hadn’t been sleeping well, so I’d resort to vegging in front of the TV until it lulled me into sleep by controlling my thought patterns (or turning it off). Last nite, I laid there for awhile, uncomfortable, unable to sleep, thoughts reeling. I think I thought that I thought myself out of a knot, so feeling better (or so I thought), I got out of bed to watch some late-nite sit-coms. It did put me into a pretty comfortable sleep. Waking up around 3:30a.m., I teetered back into the bedroom to continue sleeping. That did not happen. I laid there, physically and mentally uncomfortable. Every time I would start to drift into unconsciousness, the pit of my stomach would lurch into what felt like the beginning of an anxiety attack. There was something in my mind that was scared to let me go to sleep, I was afraid of losing something. I thought of my cool sateen sheets in my bed at home, my cat sleeping on the floor next to my bed. Wishing I could beam myself there, I contemplated the etiquette of getting up in the wee hours of the morning to go home. This went on until 5a.m., when I burst out of bed, collected my crap, and walked out the door. Then thinking about Mr. W awakening to find that I’d disappeared, I went back into bedroom to tell him goodbye. He was still sleeping soundly. 3 grown people could’ve fit in between me and him on the bed all night, so he was oblivious to what I had gone and was going through. I kissed him on the cheek and said I was going home, and he sat up abruptly, looking really perturbed. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, saying it was early, the pillow is “that” (point) way, do I need to tuck him in? Finally, in a very cranky manner, he said, “Fine. Whatever. Goodbye,” and plopped back down. I drove home in the early morning darkness, trying to push away the sinking feeling in my chest and lower stomach cramps so painful I was afraid all the paramedics would find in my car would be blood and guts as my body turned itself inside-out.