I don’t know why I bought an annual pass to Disneyland because I don’t like kids. Well, that’s not totally true across the board. I dislike unruly undisciplined kids running amock within touching distance of me. Hence, Disneyland. I dislike it so much that Mr. W and I got into a fight about it. Some stupid kid kicking the back of my seat through the entirety of the Aladdin Show at California Adventure put me in a pissy mood, and when we met up with Vicky and her boyfriend for fireworks, Mr. W brought up that I didn’t even enjoy the show because of some kid. So I explained to them that a stupid boy was kicking the back of my seat and I’d turned around and looked pointedly at his feet and his dad didn’t do a darn thing about it. And then Mr. W announced to me, “You’re too uptight. You need to calm down and relax.” It took everything I had not to turn around and pop him.

Here’s another example of bad parenting that night. The Hyperion Theatre at California Adventure seats 2000 people in 3 different levels much like a classy broadway show setup, like where they hold the Academy Awards. Before the Aladdin show began, 2 boys, about ages 11 and 8, walked to the front of the theatre right in front of the stage, accompanied by 2 Disneyland theatre ushers/employees. “Attention, everyone,” the employees yelled. “Did anyone lose these two kids?” The theatre quieted down as 4000+ eyes stared. The time ticked by. The boys looked around them. “Does anyone know these two kids?” the employees yelled again. People in the audience started pointing and whispering. Among the whispers around me I heard someone say how sad it was that no one was going up to claim the kids. As nothing happened, the audience started back in on their own conversations. “I don’t think the parents are in here, the kids probably ran in ahead,” I said. Someone else said, “How do you lose 2 kids for this long and not know it?” The ushers in the audience called everyone’s attention to look at the boys and see if it’s their kids. Finally, finally, a large Hispanic woman made her way up to the stage and claimed her kids. The 2000 people actually broke out in applause. “This is gonna be a story for show n’ tell when they get back to school,” I said. An older white man to my right said, “She probably didn’t know she lost those 2 kids cuz she’s got 8 more; she didn’t realize they were missing.”

The kid who was kicking my seat was one of 5 people in a Hispanic family. I’d wondered if they’d heard the man’s comments. But I quickly stopped caring when the boy was so absolutely annoying and rude and his parents didn’t do anything about it. I first saw that family when we were let into the gate for the mezzanine level seating. We were waiting in line for about 15, 20 minutes when the usher outside the theatre undid the chain and the first people in the mezzanine line started in. This family ran for the opening from the side, kid holding mom’s hand holding kid’s hand holding dad’s hand holding kid’s hand, completely skipping the line. The usher instantly put out his arm and stopped them, and made dad, mom and 3 kids turn around and go to the end of our line. I suppose if you’re gonna lead your kids to blatantly cut in line, you wouldn’t stop them from kicking the back of someone’s chair, either, even if the person turned around twice to look deliberately at your kid’s feet on the back of her seat.

I hung out with Dwaine earlier today and he said that my dislike for kids isn’t so much a dislike for kids, as much as a dislike for obnoxious bratty misbehaved children, and he theorized that it’s because we were raised to be well-behaved in public and not embarrass our parents. That was a good point, I said thoughtfully, cuz I know that if I did what the kids did, at that point I’d be expecting to get my ass whooped by my mom. But these parents just look the other way when their kids run ahead in line and climb on the ropes and hit other patrons with the ropes that they’re playing with and then kick my leg when they clamber around climbing the walls in line. Grrrr. I made a comment today when Dwaine was admiring my new car’s backup camera on the navigation screen. “It’s so you can see if some kid’s behind you when you’re backing up, so you can WATCH him get crushed. It’s more fun that way.”