I heard this on the radio news but didn’t hear the location and the arrest date because I wasn’t paying attention until a few key words entered my ears. You’ll see…

A 33 year-old man was found naked, laying on a tree stump, masturbating just off a nature trail. He was arrested for indecent exposure. Shortly after he was confronted by the authorities, they also charged him with possession of a concealed weapon, because he had a 6-inch (or maybe longer, I wasn’t sure I heard it right) metal ice pick, covered in duct tape, inside his rectum.

It’d never occurred to me to get off on that. “I can do it in public…ooh! The danger of being caught…ooooh! And to be completely naked so that if I were seen, there’d be no getting away or an excuse that I was just taking an emergency pee break…ooooh! And I’ll put an ICE PICK up my ASS! ooOOOooOOOohhh!!!