I went to Mr. W’s yesterday after work to be pampered. He fed me (yes, literally, like I were a small child) a tablespoon of Robitussin DM, and handed me 2 Tylenols for the fever with some water. The first Tylenol stung like hell on the way down. I was going to make some chicken broth rice, but he heated me up some Campbell’s chicken soup. Before bed, he pointed to a bottle of Nyquil and suddenly, I was taken back to age 6…
~
My mom was sick and someone had recommended Nyquil to her. She took the recommended adult dosage (I should note here that she was 105 lbs), and my parents and I sat in the living room that evening, watching TV. My mom kept complaining about how her stomach was burning from the Nyquil, then finally, she said, “I feel horrible! It’s like someone has lit a fire underneath my stomach! I’m going to go lie down.” She got up, walked around us toward their bedroom. Suddenly from behind me, I heard a thump. I looked over the back of the sofa to see that my mom had collapsed, unconscious. I panicked. “Mama died! Waaaah!!!” I cried. My dad hurried to her side, picked her up and put her to bed. I never touched Nyquil for that reason.
~
Last nite, as I eyed the bottle, the promise of a drug-induced sleep was too tempting. I pulled the measuring cup off the top of the Nyquil cap, read the back of the bottle which advised me to take 2 tablespoons of the stuff, looked at the lines drawn on the side of the measuring cup, and poured to the line that said “2”. The flavor wasn’t too lethal — it tasted of cherries, if cherries committed suicide by jumping into vats of tar. I settled into bed with the book Eragon, waiting for drowsiness to overtake me.

60 pages later, with a nose stuffed so tightly that I couldn’t even swallow the pools of saliva that form from having to breathe out of my mouth, I gave up and turned off the light. I laid on my side, hoping to relieve some pressure from the nostril on top, which always worked in my childhood. Thankfully, the top nostril cleared up and I was able to drift into a fitful sleep.

This morning, in the light of day, I again took 2 Tylenols and some Robitussin DM, since that had worked more effectively than the Nyquil yesterday. In taking Robitussin, I read the back of the bottle and ascertained that the proper dosage is 2 teaspoons. I looked around, popped the measuring cup off the Nyquil to take the Robitussin, and looked at the cup. Lines 1 and 2 were labeled TSP (teaspoon), not TBSP (tablespoon)! The medicine cup was supposed to be for the Robitussin, NOT the Nyquil, and because it was on the wrong medicine bottle, I ended up taking only one-third of the recommended dosage of Nyquil! No wonder it didn’t do a thing for me!

I’m still at work today. Everyone’s sick and we’re extremely short on employees. I didn’t want to leave in the middle of jury selection in the complicated trial we’re in right now. But I couldn’t hide my disgruntlement (disgruntledness?) when the attorneys agreed to excuse an Asian male juror because he complained that he’s sick and has a painful scratchy throat, a cough, isn’t sure if he could talk, and HAD to go see the doctor immediately. I said I could put that juror’s symptoms to shame. My judge said, “I was going to make a joke about telling you to stop getting so close to our jurors when you go out there to talk to them.”

Wimps.