Fri 2 Feb 2007
At Grace’s funeral, her husband Justin showed me a notebook she’d kept at her bedside toward the end of her life. The first few pages lists things she’d still like to do, places she’d still like to see. I have a feeling she had an even bigger list before with a ton of stuff crossed off, like the Roman Baths and Stonehenge (photos of those vacations were everywhere at her funeral, in her scrapbooks that her parents laid out for the guests to peruse). Then, a few more pages into the little notebook, she had a section called “To My Girlfriends.” Writing with the great wisdom of one who has walked through fire and hell barefoot to arrive on enlightenment, she had a list of quotes and things she wanted us to remember. Things like “No man is worth your tears. And the one who is, won’t make you cry.”
I have some girlfriends going through relationship hell right now. To them, I offer what I have learned from my personal walk through hell…
When a man breaks up with you or makes the relationship so unbearable that you have to end it, no matter how much you hurt, realize that if he wavers that easily (regarding where he stands in your relationship or how important you are in his life), you’d be in a very insecure relationship and in the long term it’s better for you to find someone more emotionally stable, and ready to be with you. I know it hurts, but honestly, every man who leaves you is a blessing in disguise. Every time a man walks, he resolves the problem of a bad relationship. I swear to you, even tho it may not feel like it now, that an empty house is better than a house with bad tenants. If he stayed, the problems and heartaches will continue to tear at you. When he goes, it’ll take a little bit of time to feel okay again, but after that your life will be 1000 times better because a big problem has resolved itself in your life, a poisonous relationship or person (I’m not saying he’s a bad person, but a person can be a good friend, a good person with a good heart, but that doesn’t mean a generally “good” person isn’t toxic to YOU) has left and will soon stop contaminating your wellness.
And you still have your girlfriends. 🙂
Girlfriends are the BEST!!!
Sometimes the poison from a man is diluted. It may “taste” like something sweet, but hidden with toxins.
Make sense?
Sure, but we’re normally intuitive enough to know something’s not very pure in the taste, altho sometimes we purposely turn a blind tastebud just to stay in the relationship longer rather than be alone. This is what I’m talking about — being alone is better than continuing to drink something sweet some of the time, but is bitter underneath and the poison would eventually kill you. Or at least shut down an organ (heart).
Girlfriends truly are the best and REAL good girlfriends are hard to come by. A REAL good girlfriend will tell you what she thinks even if she knows it might sting.. but she’ll also be there to help take the sting away and try to make sense of it. A REAL good girlfriend will always have your back, even if you’re wrong.. but while ‘having your back’ she’ll tell you that she thinks you’re wrong in this situation but she STILL has your back anyway. I could go on about REAL good girlfriends, maybe I’ll save that one for a post. I do know that I’ve had many girlfriends, but not enough REAL good girlfriends. I’ve told you before and I know you’ve told me this as well… WE (team cindy/jordan) met for a reason… and I’m so glad we did. I know you live miles away, but it’s almost as if you’re next door sometimes. Thank you for being so talkative the first time I met you.. because had you not, we never would have had a connection. As you know, when I met you, I really wasn’t where I wanted to be, so I could have easily not spoken to the people across the table from me… 🙂
I’m still not where I want to be… but I will someday (soon), so I want to thank you for being so OPEN.. HONEST.. UPFRONT.. SILLY… FUNNY… INTELLIGENT…and just an all over AMAZING gal…
hug hug.. squeeze squeeze… kiss and pinch
Awww! Thanks! Same to you! *giggle*