My coworker Andy once told me that “vent” is the actual term for a parakeet’s butthole. Which is where I’ve been the last few days.

We’ve finally, after 3 days of trying, picked our jury panel yesterday: 12 jurors and 3 alternates. While in the selection process, they actually excused another juror because she was coughing and so they asked her whether she had medical attention yet and whether she’s able to concentrate through the trial given her symptoms. She actually burst out in tears and sobbed something about how she’s sick and her throat’s sore and she’s coughing so she hadn’t slept more than 3 hours a night in the past two nights. So they let her go.

After the jurors were all out of the courtroom on a break, the defense attorney said, “Your honor, I didn’t sleep much last nite, either, may I be excused?” and the judge laughed. My sentiments exactly! I hadn’t slept well since Wednesday night, I doubt I even got 3 hours of collective sleep a night, my throat hurts like a mother (which is much of what keeps me up), I’m at work with fever, skin aches and muscle pains, my joints hurt, the jurors can actually hear me and my voice deteriorate through the day as I call out juror IDs to seat them in the jury box for interview, and I literally left the courtroom every 5 minutes to cough in the back hallway or blow my nose (so as not to disrupt the court reporter), so every time I came back in and they did something out of my presence, I gotta play catch-up. And my bailiff still won’t pick up the phone and he makes me get the phone and walk out into the hall to talk to the jurors (like excuse a particular juror or two when the judge/attys agree) when all other normal bailiffs do all of that.

Okay, I think I’m done bitching. No wait, here’s comes another one. MY THROAT KILLS!!! AARRRGGHHH!!!