Sat 21 Apr 2007
I didn’t crawl out of bed this morning until restlessness just about killed me. When I saw the clock, I knew why. It was past 11a. Holy crap! I baked an Italian sausage breakfast casserole (ingredients: 4 slices wheat bread, 4 de-skinned Italian sausages which I sauteed without oil and drained the grease from, 5 eggs, 1 cup milk, salt and pepper, 1/3 cup mixed grated cheeses) for Mr. W, his daughter and me, and since then, haven’t done much but watch TV. I’ve discovered that if I watch a jewelry shopping channel waiting for a gorgeous natural Alexandrite ring to come up for sale, I end up munching on raw almonds, red potato chips, grapefruit, dark chocolate truffles (2), apple. Not good. But if I watch a reality show marathon of The Next Pussycat Doll and see 8 young beautiful girls work their asses off on looking hot and getting the intense choreography in order to keep from elimination, all I put in my mouth is water. And I feel just fat and ugly enough when I look at my still-pajama-clad makeup-less form in the mirror, to not put anything else down the piehole. What is wrong with me? Why am I binging like I’m PMSing? I’ve found myself these couple of days to also be short-tempered and low in tolerance just like I’m PMSing. Maybe it’s not PMS. Maybe I’m just an irrate bitch. Hmm. That’s a new perspective. Okay, fine, it’s not new.
This weekend I started to feel the same way. I went out to a club on Friday and saw the most fit & sexy gogo dancer and kept thinking I want to look like that, so even tho I am under the weather, I worked out and tried to watch what I ate.
Ya know, you could also feel better by NOT looking at the go-go dancer, or by kicking her off the stage and taking it over.
That would have been bad! Can you imagine Roommie would have had to kick me out.
You went to HIS club?! Dude, you can’t keep complaining about drama if you’re gonna gravitate toward it.
Obviously you have NOT read my blog. Shame, shame. j/k. But he wasn’t supposed to work there. He quit, but the other job fell through and since he knew that I was going to be at the other club he headed down there to keep an eye on me & my possy. Teehee! Plus, I looked HAWT! I wore that corset out and he REALLY liked the way I looked, so I am sure he wanted to make sure I didn’t pick up on anyone.
Okay, go back and read that again and tell me there’s nothing wrong with that scenario. You have a violent abusive ex who lived with you way longer past the breakup, whom you’d been trying to get to move out, and then he moves out after a big scene of violence that involved broken walls, doors, furniture, and policemen who had to arrive at your house. And then you go clubbing and think it’s cute that he’s there to “keep and eye on you and your posse.”
One correction… He hasn’t moved out, yet!
*throwing up hands*
He thought I had changed the locks because he first used the wrong key to get in and said he would have broken in had I done that. Yikes! So even if he didn’t sleep there I would still having him coming over until he finds another place.
I think it will be easier for me not to be so wishy-washy once he’s not living there and I don’t see him on a day to day basis.
*blink blink*
Am I the only one seeing the violence, instability, threats here?
vanessa… if he’s showing ANY signs of violence, you need to get away immediately and do not contact him again.. especially beating down walls and stuff… you can’t play with people like that… I do not want to see you on 48 hours Mystery as the victim…