Mr. W’s birthday is in July, and I was planning to get the windows of his new Prius tinted for that occasion as a surprise. However, Mr. Anxious couldn’t wait and upon the heels of our return from China, he called up some contacts and next thing I knew, he had an appointment for the tint within a few days. That appointment was this past Monday. The tint guy was going to Mr. W’s work to tint the car in the parking lot, so Mr. W wouldn’t even be put out of his way and the car would simply be ready to drive home at the end of the workday.

So Monday before work, I went to the makeshift tint site first, where the tint man was already hard at work. (Mr. W’s work hours start earlier than mine.) I introduced myself, and told him that I wanted to pay for the tint as a birthday present to Mr. W. He looked at me with wide and softened eyes, and said, “Awww, that’s so sweet! But he paid me already.” What?! Does Mr. W not wait for anything? I must’ve looked very crestfallen, as the tint man quickly offered up an alternative. “But I have his check right here, if you want I can void it and give that to you, and take your payment instead.”
“That’d be GREAT! Then I can put the check in a birthday card to him!” I said.
“I’ll keep your secret, I won’t even say I’ve met you,” he said, a glint in his expression. “I love surprises, I just surprised my wife with an SUV for Mother’s Day.” He told me the story as he fished out Mr. W’s payment and I wrote a new check for $275. Nothing but the very best for Mr. W.

I handed Mr. W an early birthday card yesterday. On the front of the envelope, I’d written:
“- OPEN ME –
…but I am an early birthday card, so if you want to wait 2 months until your birthday, I’ll understand.
P.S. I’m from your girlfriend.
P.P.S. Your girlfriend is hot.
P.P.P.S. You’re a lucky guy.”
Inside the card I’d written an explanation of my conspiracy with the tint man, and some birthday well-wishes. I’d tucked his voided check into the tint man’s two-part folded business card and placed that in the card.

I swear, this was Mr. W’s reaction upon opening the card.
*gasp*
*suspiciously* “What did you do?!”
*looking at his check* “What is this?! You voided my check???”
I said, “No, HE did that.”
*looking at his check again* “Why would he void my check? What did you DO?”
I said, “Read the card!”

And then I thought, why’s he reacting this way? What does he THINK I did? All of a sudden, it occurs to me. I could’ve totally stolen the payment check from the tint man, maybe distracted him with some conversation while I did so, and then I could’ve given the stolen payment back to Mr. W as a sort of Bonnie-and-Clyde birthday present! “Here honey! I got you a free tint!” “Wow, you’re amazing! High-five!”

I’m too honest.