This coming weekend is Father’s Day weekend. I’d made plans with my parents for all of us to get fitted with and purchase good running shoes at A Snail’s Pace Running Shop. I have a gift certificate from my judge that I hadn’t redeemed from last Christmas, and I wanted to purchase good shoes for my parents (who are walking hills around their neighborhood for exercise) for Father’s Day and for my mother’s birthday the week after that. Turns out, Mr. W’s brother and his family, whom he hadn’t seen in years, are flying from Chicago to Las Vegas to visit their parents that same weekend. It’s going to be a huge family reunion as Mr. W plans to drive out there, and his other two brothers already live there with their families. Mr. W hopes to get his two kids out there with him as well. Even if I didn’t already have plans with my own family I would’ve found it a good time to step back and let Mr. W and his family do their thing as family.

Mr. W’s 17 year old son hadn’t been out to Vegas to see his grandparents and family out there for the entire 2 years I’d been around, so it may have been even longer than that. When Mr. W brought up the trip to him last night, the teenager was less than enthused. “It’s my summer before college, I wanna party,” he protested. After some seemingly ineffective convincing, Mr. W gave up and went into his bedroom. I stayed sitting at the dining room table tapping away at my computer as Son played a baseball video game in the adjoining living room.

And I had a mental war with myself. I wanted so badly to say something to him about his waving his grandparents off, yet again. But he and I aren’t close, and I’ve never talked to him about personal things before. To top it off, all of this is none of my business. I also don’t want him to feel weird around me, especially since I feel he already does as any keep-to-himself teenage boy would feel around his father’s girlfriend. If it had been his daughter, she probably would’ve come to me for a sounding board, but she’s different. Plus, I really do understand, so regretfully, how it is to be a teenager and really, really not want to hang out with your family and relatives when you could be hanging out with your friends.

I shut down my laptop, unplugged the cord, and waited only seconds for an opportune time to pop up in his game (the game was loading the next level), and I walked to him and said as gently as I could, “Not that my opinion should be the end-all to anything, but I really think you should go with your dad to Vegas this weekend.” He looked at me in surprise. I continued, “Your grandparents are getting older, and I don’t know if your dad told you this, but your grandmother had two eye surgeries in the last few months. I go there with him, and I’ve seen them look disappointed when they see that we don’t have you kids there with us. They try to stay in your life, they’re driving out here for your graduation next week, they send you cards… I know you won’t regret going to 9 parties instead of 10 this summer, but if something happens to your grandparents, you might regret not going over to see your family back when you had the chances to.” I paused. He, sensing that I was perhaps waiting for a response from him, said, “Uh-huh” and paused his game. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but just, you know…[he nodded]…I’ve just seen them look sad when you’re not with us, is all. Good night,” I said and turned away. He said after me, “Thanks. Good night to you, too.”

Life is all about choices. Some choices are about weighing what you would and would not regret. As intrusive as I felt that my hands were practically shaking as I walked away from him, I’d made the choice that the possible awkward moment I’d create with him was worth the possibility that he grow up just a little bit and sacrifice 3 days to spend with his family before he goes and plays the rest of the summer away. I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I know I won’t regret putting in my 2 cents.